June 30,2001

Today is the 8th anniverary of marrying my Wonderful wife Terria, It seems such a short time ago that we had our motorcycle weeding riding to and from the little chapel on our Motorcycles. It was agreat day and has been continued on a daily basis! I wrote more on my other blog http://gregasaurus-openthemind.blogspot.com

Belief system

As some or most of you may know, I am an Atheist, I think I always have had the doubts that a God existed in some sort or fashion. Even through my Christian days of going to church and praying at night I often found myself praying when i needed something , when somebody was sick to heal him or her, to give me that job to make more money. All of these things in retrospect are hideous attempts of Christianity on my part, so as time went by I eventually came to the belief system of not believing in a God, or a given religion. In my travels as a 46 year old man I have been very fortunate in having a strong family, strong friends and a wonderfully strong wife today to support my stance on life! My experiences have taken me all over the map spiritually, Baptised, then born-again and then somewhat agnostic, now I live in a free-thinking world of trying to live under the golden rule! where there is no questions as to which God, which prayer or which portion of a certain bible I am supposed to aspire to live by. I have often been offended at the fact that was supposed to fear God and and to accept him into my life and try to spread the word onto others and only then would I be a candidate to enter the pearly Gates of Heaven. My argument for this has always been, if that is the case then Hitler, Daumer,Hussein ,Rapist Catholic Priests and all of the earths other past and current Scumbags would by default then be able to declare that they have found God and accept the Lord as their savior. This loophole has never set well with me and I get furious at the thought that simple declaration like this will put you in Gods good graces regardless if you practiced genocide, or rape, just show repent and you get a golden ticket, whereas people like myself who live good productive lives and help people when we are able to are not even considered for this supposed prize at the end of the tunnel. There are too many fake people in this world chasing the end game by reading an inaccurate book and living fake and fear-driven/ guilt laden lives. If there is a God he has done real shoddy work, living in this world where it's survival of the strongest this doesn't seem like the work of a loving caring person, never mind the fact that we can take a snap shop of Africa, and the middle East and the value of life is below zero, impoverished people who's only crime is that they were born in poverty and born period, and live to watch the children die in their arms from malnourishment! This my friends is not a perfect world, but why should I as a man have everything I will ever need and others have nothing but the license to die hungry or take an undeserved bullet to the head for protesting a belief. If there were a God and he is as the believers say, then why can't he treat all the same, why are some like myself given all, and other given nothing but suffering and pain. Some of our most devout Christians are in our prison systems, repenting for their bad deeds as the Scum I described earlier, they seek out that blank check to free them from what they feel is eternal agony and write their way to Heaven. where was God when they were committing the crimes on others and taking others lives ??? I tire of hearing we can blame the Devil for all that is bad ,this lack of accountability for all that you created by saying "If you win, you are my favorite team, if you lose i don't know you and you can't play for me ...Ever" Is total hypocritical bullshit that needs to be addressed by the Theologians that claim there is a God. I received an angry Email by a gal friend of mine here at work, a poem of christian goodness , you know the ones that make the believers feel good about the day. Knowing I am an Atheist still sent it out to me, I responded with that's sounds so nice but in reality that's not how the world works, I threw in my analogy of the Scum being able to attend the pearly gates by repenting and the reality of it is giving bad people a blank check to be bad knowing that they can make amends 11th hour! The response I got back put me in hell according to her and that I would be sorry come judgement day,and well, inspired this Blog response to all those who judge me, want to convert me and think less of me for my beliefs. I am a good person who has and will continue to help and care about others. my belief system is to be the bigger person and help those that you don't even like, but being a good person is the key and essential point. I know too many devout Christians who keep throwing the bible at people but continue to trip on the pages that they don't understand. Goodness is how you live and do for others, not talk about how Good it is to be you. Anybody can be a hero when the cameras are rolling,then share the story of a good deed done but the obscurity of honesty in the dark when all that know are those that count, there is the feeling of being a good person and knowing that I didn't have to read it out a book or go to the confessional to be that Goodness, for I just try to be that good person and sometimes succeed and sometimes fail, but when I fail I hold myself to the accountability of one, ME ! for there is no devil and there can't be any God, just good people and Bad fighting and trying to co-exist in a poorly designed world!

Moms' Health

We took another trip to the Emergency room last night with my mom, being treated for High blood pressure and being on 9 different prescriptions we figured she was on a road to recovery of some sort. Just having been released for the hospital 6 days ago for same condition!!! So we go to yesterday and she feels sluggish and has very little strength or drive, blood pressure was low and pulse was even lower, something is not right... again. So we eventually decide to call the Paramedics per the on call Dr. Orders form Kaiser. The Paramedics arrived and were alarmed at the weak pulse so they made the decision to take her in for a check to the ER. Once in the ER they were able to get her settled and try to figure out what the heck was causing this opposite affect of what we was initially being treated for. Come to find out of the medications one was causing her to dehydrate and make her feel light headed and weak, yet the Dr tells her to keep her liquid intake down due to the congestive heart condition she had faced earlier this year. so how to keep hydrated when you have an order for low liquid intake is beyond me, and one of the prescribed meds is causing dehydration. Well She has been trying to get this fixed for 2 years now and we are about ready to ditch the Medical insurance route and go to UCLA and get some real results. My 75 year old Mother should not spend her last years visiting ER's and urgent care facilities to solve very fundamental illness'. So today she has 2 Appts with specialists to figure out the medications and slowly ween her off of some and see what it causing the spike in BP and then the fall. hopefully the Kidney Dr will have a better plan of attack that 3 hospital stays and 4 trips to ER this year could not solve. Step it up or get out of the way , This hopefully could be the beginning of a positive fix , or so we are hoping. Really sad to think that I had lost all hope on the Medical industry and lost patience with their overly procedural attitude and no aggressive means of healing sick people. But as long as they have a prescription pad they can call themselves healers!

My Friend Prozac(this was Draft 1 which i thought I lost)

The good deeds that this awesome guy has performed since I've known him are too numerous to tell. The most giving, gracious and caring person I know who is always looking out for the little guy. A dedicated participant in the big brother program in LA to the luckiest young man Patrick, and the incredible story of his Friend Yao which I will share with you in his own words. This is an amazingly incredible man with a wonderfully refreshing story.
http://www.organicvisibility.com/projects/big-dog-performance/index.htm

My Friend Prozac

As I have mentioned many times before , my friend Mr. Brad Holland(Prozac) is an incredible human being, caring , giving and a lover of good people and good times. I have so many stories that show how inceredible he is as a person a man and as an overall loving human being. I have supplied and attached link that will detail one such act of kindness that not only took years to produce , but affected a large family in TOGO Africa. Our friend is Yao, a hard working legal immigrant from Togo who left his family behind to make a better life for himself and his family back home in his native Togo, this is an incredible story of a man who has sacrificed everything for his family, and the story of an equally giving man, Brad Holland.
http://www.organicvisibility.com/projects/big-dog-performance/index.htm

Round Of Golf

Played 18 holes after work yesterday to ease the tensionless dayI was having, so overall it was an incredible day in So Cal. The sun was shining and the weather cooperated nicely, it was perfect anything weather. I met the Brother in Law Timotardo at the Base here at Port Hueneme for a relaxing round of Golf. Playing golf is not really a passion of mine but more of a hobby that allows me to get outside and enjoy the elements of an awesome Southern Californias Summer day. Most of my Prozac crew friends make fun of me and Chris(Yuc) for playing Golf ,calling it a useless bit of activity and cringe everytime we post somethnig on our message board mentioning Golf. But the board being a motorcycle and offroad forum I can understand their dismay towards Golf. So we tee off and start the day of golf, not a good start for me but tell myself this round is all about the enjoyment of being outdoors with a good man and not working, how can playing poorly ruin that? We went thru the first 9 holes in and hour 15 minutes, hooked up with a single player on the back nine and he was pretty damn good golfer, a guy in his 60's who hit the ball a ton and hit it straight. We came throught the back nine at a little slower pace but ended up finishing the round in 3 hours 40 minutes so that being a good quick round of Golf we headed home to brother in laws house where my sister was making Tacos for us. We got there at 8pm grubbed like madmen and felt like crap afterwards, it's what we do after Golf! THis being my first round of golf in 8 months I felt pretty good but sore as the knee is still needing that operation but we move on and won't complain about it anymore . Life is Good and I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can ... Fore!!!!!!

Lost A Little Focus

With Mom still in the Hospital I have lost some focus on adding to my writings and have kept it shorter on Twitter. As you know I love the art of expression and sometimes tweet too much throughout the day and add new things here in multiple. Not much going on in the ol noggin here lately as I am preocuppied with Moms stay in the Hospital. There was some decent news today, might be coming home tomorrow and a new specialist may have found the problem with her recent fluctuations in BP and general health, Thr Kidney specialist will see her in a month or so after all is cleared up and dive into the Kidney aspect of the process, so at least after 2 years of bouncing around the prospects of never finding out, I think we have a direction in which to follow on the road to moms recovery from her illness. so we wait and hope that things do improve and we can relax a bit and allow both my Mother and Sister, with whom she lives with have a respite from hospitals for a long while!

Watching our parents grow old!

After just coming home from the hospital visiting my mom who is in again for congestive heart condition, other issues and overall just getting older and breaking down. It seems like yesterday that she was scolding me about my room or about my behavior in grade school. always the strict disciplinarian and always the one to hold us all accountable for everything. We could never get away with anything and generally never tried out of respect. Well now her mind is sharper than ever and her sense of humor is better than I remember with her age, but the body is tearing down and we watch the slip on a weekly basis if not daily basis and saddens me to think that just not too long ago we had conversations about her taking trips and going places around the world and to spend her life savings on herself, she raised us kids and did a great job and now should leave this world penniless with travels to places only read about, but she can no longer get around too much , deteriorating knees and feet,heart issues and blood pressure issues all at the same time! yeah I always wanted my mom to enjoy the finer things in her later years but it seems that her body won't allow her to do so and she refuses to spend her life's savings and wants to save it all for the kids. She's been driving the same Toyota corolla for 15 years and has refused a nice upgrade to a more luxurious vehicle , she's old school and well enough is something that is working, so it ain't broken ,she ain't changing shit. You gotta love the old school mentality, if not totally disagree with it you can still see where the older values never die, waste is waste whether you can afford to or not. I respect my mother as much as anybody I've ever known, the values and lessons taught to me at a young age are too numerous to count, but when I go to parent my own, alot of her parenting comes out in my own parenting. Makes me feel proud t finally understand what she was trying to teach me back then, I think that this is why I have tried to teach others and give back all that I was given as a young child growing up. I was given so much love and taught all of the right lessons and how to treat people and how to protect your reputation in a world always trying to belittle you. Yeah I think of these lessons as I venture to and from the corridors of the Hospital and see my Mom with her strong personality and no bull attitude,always asking how everybody else is and putting herself last on the list. Yeah I get sad when I think that we may lose our mother anytime soon, she makes me feel good knowing that she has done most everything a parent wants to do, to raise her kids to be strong self sufficient quality human beings. For this we all thank our mother for this. So as we just celebrated our Mothers' 75th birthday with a surprise birthday party 3 weeks ago, I wrote a letter to my mom trying to clear up some misconceptions that we may have both had, we always butted head with each other and I felt that this letter was closure for both of us, but closure seems too final for me and don't know If I'm able to accept that she could be gone from us really soon if her health issues don't get turned around. So I do at times have a heavy heart but have hopes that if she goes ,she goes the way she lived her life, quietly and worry free. Yes it is sad to watch or parents grow old, suffer from aches and pains and never complained like we did as kids about meaningless crap, but part of living is dying and having to accept this is never easy, but I have to be thankful as do my brother, sisters friends and family who are part of my mothers life that we are fortunate to be able to draw from this wealth of understanding what life is all about.

The Restaraunt Game

What a treat it is to say "lets go to so and so for dinner tonight" a cry heard many times a week in my household, but not always acted upon, I think the guilt of spending excess money when we have a full fridge stocked with good food. As most we all have our favorites, Italian its Dominicks, Mexican is Casa De Soria or Montezumas, breakfast jaunts are Galloping Hen, Paradise Cafe or Busy bee cafe, the one common thread about these places is that they are all mom and pops places, don't generally enjoy chain restaurants and like to keep good family owned businesses in the green with our patronage. So we are fortunate enough to have the resources to be able to eat out more than most.... Thank Goodness for that! Move to tonight, big sister calls and asks what we're doing for dinner, I had no plans and suggested Dominicks for Italian food, we had a table for 5 and they always greet us with smiles and handshakes here as we are old news at this point. We order appetizers, the drinks the main course and get each in a timely manner ,all hot all served as they are supposed to be served from some old recipe from the homeland some 100 years ago. The waitress is always on top of her game and fills our drinks with 25% left in them and brings Fresh bread over and over again, she was new to us as we'd never had her before but has been there awhile. The same gal usually grabs me and my party when she sees me but was loaded with tables this night. The new/older gal was an awesome server and as I said had our everything on time and hot and refill of everything were finished before we could ever ask for more! She boxed all of our food as we for some reason could not finish the heaping portions that we were given. She finished that up and asked us if we wanted dessert, we all shared Mud pie and the check came shortly after. $100 for five with appetizers,drinks, dessert and food to bring home, not bad for an incredible meal and awesome service. So I generally tip 20% or more for good service, tonight was above that so I left $25 for her tip and walked up to the owner manager whom we know and told him how good the food was and how great the service was, all in earshot of our server! she and the boss both thanked us and hoped to see us soon! Theres' just something about the little place that gives you so much warmth, the reason it becomes a favorite is this consistency of goodness that is given each and every time we go, we even had a different server than usual and that was a new surprise that was enjoyable as was the evening with good food, good company and another day almost finished with more smiles on our faces. Here's hoping that everybody is as fortunate as we are with all of the hole in the wall establishments we frequent, and all of the outstanding experience we have in these places. You can get food anywhere, you can get good food as well, but the combination of good food , good service and a carefree atmosphere is hard to find these days, and the warmth just Isn't found in the chains these day that much I can tell you! Eat out when you can and treat yourself to the atmosphere that you rightly deserve! Yum and no antacids needed!.....Nice

Choices!

When somebody asks me, where do you feel like eating, or what do you want to do for your Vacation? These questions are sometimes very difficult to answer and make me feel like I'm missing out on something by making the wrong choice! When in fact really insignificant things like this muddle the mind and detract from the real choices we need to make on an everyday basis. I was once told by a wiser person than i that "Choices should be viewed as opportunities to improve upon something" for there is always one option that is better than the other, whether or not it is clear at decision time, some forethought and a sense of reality never hurt the decision making process! So I sit here and reflect upon past ands current choices I have made and Will make and try to sort them out as Good , or Bad choices ?

Good Choices

• Marrying my current wife Terria
• Purchasing home at the right time and rate
• raising my kids properly
• choosing good over bad, happy over bitter
• GSXR1000 motorcycle
• Friends of the Prozac Crew
• working on mind and soul
• being true to my beliefs
• Honesty at all times
• My Awesome Dogs
• Using electronic devices to share my thoughts
• communication with everything I know
• getting rid of my sand toys
• Dunlop over Pirelli
• Teaching myself to cook and Bake
• Making peace with my mother

Bad Choices

• My first wife
• girlfriend Gina following first wife
• Eating too much junk
• spending not saving
• expensive toys
• not growing up soon enough
• not finishing college degree
• not playing football and Baseball in college

Just a few things that may have altered my past and my future. But most everything here is fixable and reversible and never etched in stone. Having rebounded from most all of the bad gives me hope that things are never as bad as they appear and when things are going well keep it all in perspective and keep it real! Because nothing is forever and nothing guaranteed!

Boy Gets His License and his trusty Steed

My 16 yr old just got his drivers license and was on op of the world yesterday, not only did he obtain his D.L but he got his first job at the local Vons 1 1/4 mile from the homestead. Feeling the need to drive his immaculate 93 Mazda 323 as much as possible asking if we need anything from the store or need to pick anything up for us. Called our insurance guy and the rates are 800 for the year liability for him to drive so that ain't bad at all, he's covering half his insurance and all his fuel so we can at least teach him some semblance of moneys' value. Ty is a great kid who plays Varsity football for his high school and will have his work schedule tailored to suit his needs. How cool of his manager to work with him on this, His boss also played at the High school and played college ball and just so happens to be a friend of mine from little league through High School. So the boy dazzled him during the interview process and knowing Frank he would not hire him for our sake. So we sit the boy down and explain to him the responsibilities of work, school, driving and all that s involved with each. Explained to him that work is serious business and should be professional and give himself the chance to work on his communication skills with customers and co-workers. We also hit hard the driving safely and how a careless ticket or accident would jeopardize his insurance rates, but the fact that he is a 3.5 student I give him some credit for doing well in school ,sports and at home. So we embark on another step as parents of entrusting our kids to make the right decisions when they are away from our prying eyes, with so much to lose, I think I believe he will make the right choices and it sure saves us the wear and tear of taking him to school, picking him up from practice, social events and to the mall. It also means that we are getting older because are kids are now sharing the roads with us... Yikes!!!

Mat Mladin

Just got My Mat Mladin hat in the mail today via Ebay, no big deal really other than I really almost idolize my favorite motorcycle rider for so many reasons. The hat is just a clever way on his part to show his country of origin, Australia and my way of showing I support the guy for more reasons than his riding abilities. Mat is a very interesting man who you will rarely see smiling or laughing while working at the race track,all business make no friends and work on ways to beat his opponents. Besides his abundance of talent and riding the best bike bike, having the best crew and best winning attitude in the paddock he takes nothing for granted and works harder than anybody else to stay fit, to learn the set ups and to play the occational mindgames with his counterparts. Mat is also a real proponent of track safety and riders rights never afraid to complain to the powers that be to make something right at the track. He has tried to help the sport of Professional motorcycle racing grow to a level that is has so far failed to reach. When I watch him race I see the amount of professionalism that he puts forth and this has translated to over 81 wins and counting in the Premier Superbike class. The man is an accomplished pilot, own 2 planes and flies himself to some of his races, even takes pictures from his travels and shares them with us via Twitter. The biggest attribute, or quality that he shares is his ability to be accountable for his losses and humble for his wins, always thanks everybody when he wins and considers it a team effort. When he loses he s the first one to congratulate the winner and says he got beat by the better man on that given day! I find him to be a very honest person who is gracious if not overly friendly for autographs and picture opportunities. He is the reason that I got into motorcycles over 10 years ago. Something about the guy is just plane cool, he carries himself like the 6 time champion that he is and I can really respect that to no end. He is always seen with his young girls at the winners circle after races,just an overall good guy, no nonsense mans man kind of guy for whom I hold the highest regards! Pictured at top right is a picture he took with my Son Ty at the races at California Speedway in April this year. Go Mat! and by the way he is on his way to his 7th Championship this year

This guy has issues!

This little dude is kinda my mascot ,I keep him on the kitchen table with me when I eat , he's sorta representing the whole Gregasaurus mantra of big beast that can't harm a fly. I picked up this guy 2 Halloweens ago at a Rite aide while we were stopping to buy Candy for the trick or treaters. But yeah he's a little guy I keep around to remind me of the Prozac crew guys and keep that smile form going away

Feeling ill

Since the wife has been feeling under the weather with sinus and ear infections I figured why not try to catch a cold or something that would allow me to whimper a little! I guees my sinuses are a little inflamed and thus I am sneezing, and nasal drip all over myself. First time I've been under the weather in a year and a half so feel good about that fact, for whatever reason I've escaped the heebie jeebies and everything else and very glad about that fact. Taking some sinus meds I guess I'm feeling better but really don't like meds or doctors and figure /I can tough anything out before needing so much as an aspirin. This Isn't being tough, it's stubborneness if anything as once again, going against the grain feels better than succumbing to the rules of common sense, so be it! I can say this will last me 2-3 days and I will have forgotten about it all, the yuck and raining and sore throat, I suspect tonight will be the culmination of the achy ,sniffle and a low grade fever. My biggest dilemma will be ,Call in Sick tomorrow or go into work,I will opt for work and save my time off whn I can enjoy good weather and do something fun, besides daytime TV is horrendous, makes shitty nightime TV seem like golden globes I tell you. I just want wifey to get better ,I will feel better in a day or so and try to get back to the usual activities. Missed the gym for the first times in a month so feeling a little guilty about that and have ambitions of forcing my way to Ballys tomorrow regardless of how I feel. I 'll show mysickness who's boss for sure. Well Theraflu here I come, I will take more drugs that I hate to take but otherwise will stay up all night so sleep here I come, after one last tweet of course. How ridiculous have I become. One last thing really en joyed LA police chief Bratton calling the rioters knuckleheads and Gangbangers and even called them cowards for striking at night and for easy targets.... Nice work Police chief

My Friend!

As a caring man I always feel the sting when one of my kids or family and friends is going through a rough piece!We ll now is one of theose times and just happens to be a Crew Member,Erwin8R! This man has bee through a lot with this woman and has given his all to make this thing work, been sperated so many times come back and give it more and more and stil fail just the same. Sometimes there are people that you can love and adore but just can't ever be together. He has 2 kids with her and seems like she could use these kids as pawns to get back at him. I truly hate to see this man put through more drama , he works 2 jobs and puts in a good 60-70+ hours per week so she can stay home and raise the youngest kid. We as a group have been through this with Erwin many times in the past and we have always been supportive of his breakups and his reunifications. The straw that breaks the camels' Back is not too far away, but I hope that the drama does not break the man, he has way to many attributes to let this girl ruin his life and take away his happiness. As a person who has been through this with my first wife, i can empathize and sympathize with the decision to hold onto that thread of hope! As an outsider it is always easier to see the forest through the trees, but when you're deep in it, the emotions and negativity and thoughts of the kids all but put the blinders on your face and don't allow you to see the full picture and project the freedoms that await your command. But the failures of the first marriage and his 3 children with her may haunt him as well and we all know, nobody wants to fail at anything, but As I try to share with my friends, better to fail at marriage than to fail in life and parenthood. Erwin we are in the ring with you , you just have to ring the bell and get this fight over with. Here's wishing you the best and giving you the support that we all know you would give us my friend... Erwin , you're not alone

Happy Mondays!

Happy Mondays, sounds like the name of one of my 80's bands but it is a great Day to be alive, as opposed to the alternative I suppose. Last night we watched our Lakers bring home another title and we watched my brown skinned people make asses out of themselves by rioting and creating ridiculous disturbances in the city. I just don't get it at all, here you are celebrating your teams victory by destructing the city in which you pay taxes to upkeep... does that seem wrong or am I just overreacting to it all? As the game neared its end I texted my LAPD officer friend George and tell him" Hey brother the shit might be going down, be careful , stay safe and hope you have a good shift" he replied back saying , he and his boys were ready at an area mall coordinating their plan of attack, 50 motorcycle and 50 black and whites were waiting on the order to disperse, that order came , they went and conquered! Pretty sad to me that we as adults act stupid at times, here we had 100 police vehicles manning a "Celebration" which translated means riot waiting to happen. These resourses should be out and about protected you and me but they were summoned to baby sit and thus, we as tax payers had to pay the overtime for the extra security and these men had to risk their well being for celebrations' sake. Well All is well , the nsmoke has settled and we awaut the wednesday celebration again with the parade downtown! Very nice to be proud of our teams, can't say the same for some of our people. You would think that this city is used to winning and would have it down by now, obviously not!!!

Lakers Win, City trying to be good!

Spoke to my LAPD friend George who is downtown on duty and ready to get to work on the celebration happening now, Fires in front of the Staples Center are ongoing and waiting for the Police to step in and disperse the crowd. So I am hoping that they all behave and That my Buddy George doesn't have to earn his pay the hard way tonight! Be safe George and my hopes are that the city reacts like the Champion Basketball team that the city now posseses.... Be good and be safe!! Congrats Phil Jackson andThe Lakers Team... Hell Yeah

Now The Good

You may have just read My Peaves entry and may have noticed that most of what is deemed as cool or fashionable is some instances are generally my biggest gripes, but enough negativity. I am going to share a little positivity and some of the things that make me smile and feel good about about the humanity thats gets it!

People, This is our Core , this is what we are and who we are, all people with the potential to make a difference in peoples lives. Some of the best qualities in my friends and people I want to hang out with NOT NUMBERED IN SEQUENCE OF IMPORTANCE

1. people who give for the sake of giving, no acknowledgement needed, as my momma used to tell me, "do a good deed and walk away" otherwise you give for the wrong reasons
2. good listeners, who allow you to share your story
3. conversationalists who back their play with examples, not just words
4. virtuous people who give and care for others
5. honest and open people who will say what is true, not wha they think you want to hear
6. people who aren't afraid to make mistakes, risk takers
7.those who love and care and help those who can't always help themselves
8. religious people who accept my non believer ways and don't try to convert my thinking
9. those who don't grandstand and have the confidence to know they don't need to do so
10.those who say hello,or smile before you do to them
11. confident, not cocky ,self assuredness , not arrogance
12. well spoken people who speak to the level of their listener to not exude an elitist attitude
13 people who acknowledge others in assiting in their successes
14.taking the blame when it Isn't your fault to not create a bigger drama
15. being accountable
16 learning from not only your own mistakes, but watching those of others and sharing the lesson
17.Good Parents
18 respectful/polite kids and youth

There are alot of Things that we as adults and even children long to aquire, "toys"

Motorcycles ,motorcycles, and more fast motorcycle, japanese sportbikes are the greatest thing going . Speeds are incredible on these things, so fun, so dangerous! too much fun
Baseball equipment, Rawlings Baseball gloves
Music, sound systems and MP3 technology
My Blackberry is my single most prized electronic possession
The internet and all of its wonders....Awesome
Dunlop 209 GP sticky tires
My Homemade Chocolate fudge cake
My Lemon Zest sour cake
anything chocolate
BBQ'd anything on a modern BBQ grill
hitting a baseball solid
swishing a 3pt shot
a first date that goes well
a divorce that goes painlessly quick

Fashion and Music, yes there are some fashion statements that are world class, music is always top shelf in my eyes and ears. so here are a few of the things that make me say "YES

musically this is the real deal-The Clash,Billy Bragg, The Jam, crowded house, the Smiths, levellers, lemonheads, replacements and too many others to mention, most are mentioned in my profile.
Fashion for fashions sake, is there nothing better than an Armani suit, I don't know, I've never owned one and might never, but thet are badass high quality nice stuff. Nice Ferragamo, r Kenneth Cole shoes. nothing better to look at than a well made italian suit with all the amenties.
A pair of nice fitting New Balance, Nike, Adidas or any high quality athletic shoe.
Baseball games at Dodger stadium,College football games at the Rose Bowl, basketball games at the Fabulous forum in the 70's and 80's
Motorcycle races at willow springs, infinneon raceway and any televised motorcycle race availabe
MLB network, ESPN , NFL network. Discover Channel, TLC, History Channel, A&E network,Food network
Best things in the world besides all of the listed above, My wife, My Kids and my immediate family and circle of Prozac Crew friends.... Lfe is obviously great regardless of all of my Peaves, I can balance it with the loves of my life and all that makes me smile. oh yeah a Blog in which to share and spew meaningless rants and venting like old faithful..... Damn skippy

THe World and My Peaves!!!

In this life we all do thrings that piss others off for some reason, Somebody chews ice or taps fingers on a desk, you know the little things that drive a person nuts. Well I'm going to try to illustrate jounalistically the things that make me say What the "F". First of all I am an excellent driver, no tickets , never been in accident and just an overall safe an conscientious drive and well aware of my surroundings and I expect other to do the same and see the roads as clearly as I do. Well thats not the case in most instances and here are a few things that make me want to kick somebody in the Nutsack, or Vagina,dependant on Gender of course

1. getting on freeway doing 45mph, how are u ever going to get on when peolpe are doing 70 ?
2. The person who swerves in and out of traffic to have the clearest lane,not always fastest!
3. The person the cellphone at the light that causes me to miss the green light or arrow-MF-er
4. The jackoff who passes you to get to te red light first(yay you win)Dickhole!
5. the person who won't let you get over a lane & when you force ur way in give me the finger
6. Use your friggin turn signal.... please!!!

people who are fanatics are some of the most dangerous people on the planet, not only to others but to themselves, here are a few examples of mother fuckers I'd like to kick in the teeth if I need to!!!

1. Anti abortion protestors,look if u impregnate somebody have the damn kid, don't tell the world they have to do the same because you think they should
2. Gun right activist-again, I can get any gun I want down the street as can you, so if uncle Sam wants to restrict your gun cache, get it illegal like the criminals do..Assholes
3. Sport fans are sometimes the worst, take your LAker Flags, your Raider Stickers and your Chivas/ Pumas Soccer bullshit of your car and behave if your team wins a championship. Follow your teams, involve the family and stay at home and watch it with the wife and kids not friends at a bar
4. People who have large window stickers of the PRovince of Mexico they are from , Guanaguato, Michuacan,Jalisco all emblazoned with a Mexican flag. Yeah ,Mexico is so great it can't support you so you invade my Country.... Nce, now legal folks, cool beans Pardon the Pun
5. I'm not even gonna get started on the Republican Party, lets just say Paranoid and butthurt that their asses were handed to them in the last election nationwide... I'm neither Demo or Repo so I can laugh at em both and I do! ha!
6. Religious Fanatics are by far the funniest of the group, well, hard to top Limbaugh but close. Throw your bibles and your prayers at me but don't tell me that u will pray for me or that THe lord can show me the way. I'm a recovering Catholic for Crissakes, you don't hand an AA group a 12 pack and say Divvie it up boys! The Comedian Jackie Mason said it best when he said" if there is a God , he is one screwed up man who got it all wrong" I tend to agree, the man who they say is perfect created all of this imperfection... ah but yes , the religious nutjob will tell you, it is the devil who is behind all of this bad, or maybe it is Limbaugh ,or O'reilly, or Ann Coulter. When an alter boy is molested by a preist and the Church of guilt pays off $600 million in claims and nobody goes to jail... amazing, where are you God to help these little boys when the Priests pant were down at his ankles.... Disgusting!!! UGH

Now that I sent the Church back a thousand and seven years with my Blasphemy I am feling better, oh wait there are more peaves a knockin at my conscience. People I despise for their actions and temperment

1. Rude and obnoxious people, the person who pushes in line or gives the waitress trouble over needing another cup of coffee a 15 minutes ago
2. people who tip poorly, I try to tip 20-25% when served warm food and my drink is reasonably kept up, the quality of the food is not the waitresses fault, but temperture and presentation of food are. The waitress does not have to be a beautyqueen but must be polite and pleasant and have some social skills!
3. Overly picky people at Starbucks," I'll take a hot low fat van. Latte with 1- 1/4" foam at 182 degrees,if its not that temp I will give it back to you" This person will be put on a firing line. I once told the guy who oredered this drink ," hey Mr. Manly is that your poodle outside"? and didn't you really want a black coffee like the German shepherd owners drink...lol that was some funny shit, but hey I'm was the mayor of that particular Starbucks and could get away with it!!
4.people who tell lies ,or lie by omission or twist the occurences to confuse" ASked one of my boys" WEre u tardy to second period today?, No I wasn't marked Tardy", well he was tardy but his friend takes roll and didn't mark him tardy so evasiveness counts as lying to me . Telling the truth is the single easiest thing to do, nothing to remember nothing to change, just what really happened....Duh
5. Stupid people, not talking about the ones who don't know anything ,well them too, but also talking about the ones who know nothing yet still try to act as if their answer is the Gospel and know nothing about what they speak of. The world of "double ingnorance" the sad place of not knowing that you don't know, hurts twice as much!

Now i delve into the world of fashion/TV where the world is so involved in what everybody else is doing and wearing that I can't imagine any free thinking going on. It an eternal game of follow the leader, or in this case follow the rich and famous, not Rich and world changing, not wealthy and philonthropic, just rich and famous which means there is no talent levels required to achieve this , with the exception of athletes, they have talent and shoud be paid to entertain as do good actors. But the margins in the world of music and theater have really taken a hit, if theres a market for mediocrity then that is selling big now, but I wanna touch upon the fashion industry
and the things that make me laugh in anger

1. woman wearing UGGS, the are called Uggs as that is short for Fucking Ugly, PAris Hilton slutty lookin wanna be a tramp star wearing goofs
2 Guys wearing their pants low and the boxers showing , this look is so ghetto and so wanna be gangster that it really kills me to see white guys trying to be cool. I guess the colest thing abiut this look is having people watch you pull your pants up all day... How earth shatering of you!
3. on the same level, the guy wearing his ball cap tilted to the side alittle, WTF is this for, being a baseball Fan and admirer of the game I detest this look as it demeans all that my game stands for. wear a Ball hat , wear it the way it was meant to be worn, and no Flat bill either that too is Ghetto shit in a poor white trash way!
4 Music must have instruments in it, and people that play them to make this sound,I guess this excludes rap and hip hop but ehat u gonna do about it, I tire f hearing the thump thump of bad music coming off bad speakers and al this techie plug in instrument crap can be done from my computer i know I've seen it done !
5. White people listening to rap and R&B are trying way to hard to fit in to the cultures of MTV !
6. Can't bitch about kids on cell phones I do the same
7. oh yeah , unemployed , unmarried people should NOT have kids,I knw the church says birth control is a no no well abstinance... haha in todays culture girls are giving their cookies away at 12 and younger so the memo didn't get to them on time. Less kids, less welfare, more jobs how bout t America ca yu do this and erase all those listed items above and make Gregasaurus a Happier man than he already is?? I'm just saying ... Ok done with my Rant and ready for some Coffe t re-energize this opinion machine. Apologizing for typos, a couple of keys on my laptop stick so that is why it may apear that I am a horrible speller

Another ridiculous Celebration

I watched what I thought at the time was a scandalous bit of celebrating by a professional, and I say Professional with loose lips! I was watching a WSB motorcycle race ,American Ben Spies last lap leading by 2 seconds over his nearest rival, 2nd to last turn he slows down and is passed and loses the race, turns out he ran out of gas and a sure win down the tubes. The eventual winner some italian meatball on a Ducati starts celebrating like he had really beaten somebody with skills and cunning maneuvers, No jackass the real winner ran out of gas and by his misfortune you were deemed the winner. The celebration that followed was an epic display of childish ranting and raving. Meanwhile Ben Spies quietly walked to his pits and readied himself for the second race of the day! Move to today, watching a Yankee game on TV and there are 2 outs and 2 on base, Alex Rodriguez at the plate 3-1 count ,down 8-7, closer KRods next pitch is popped up to the second basemen, ARod slams his bat down in disgust as the final out is all but made, the second basemen for some unknown reason drops the ball both runners running o 2 outs and both runners score to win the game for the Yankees. The celebration that followed was as ridiculous as the one descibed in the motorcycle race, they jumped and acted as if they had won game 7 of the World Series, high fives, and danced a jig as if he accomplished something. The hijinks were not fitting of the accomplishment created by the miscue of another player. Point being, if you accomplish something on your own merits, wonderful, celebrate a little and move on to the next task at hand but for Crissakes don't rant and rave at the expense of somebody elses' misfortune it's not only poor sportmanship but show little or no class. Some athletes are gifted with so much talent and sometimes are ripped off in the class and common sense dept.

Riots In LA

I await the awful thought of Riots in the streets of Los angeles after the Lakers finish the season as world Champions. Everytime the Lakers win a crown the city always seems to be at its' worst and acts like a bunch of Prison escapees looking to burn, break, steal , hit Maim or destruct something that doesn't belong to them. Sorry to inform, but the city they destruct is the city they call their own and they just never seem to grasp that fact. So heres to hoping that I'm wrong, but I know our people and i know their destructive tendencies , So stop , drop and take cover for the fans of L.A. will have their TV time on the news nationwide. Please be good winners and help preserve the city that so many have tried to build up for so long now...... Go Lakers!!! But moreso... Be responsible and party like you know what you're doing, not like a bunch of Folsom escapees!

POWER!

The power of the internet never ceases to amaze me, as we progree forward in a world of high tech gadgetry and tools, nothing will ever be more powerful than the world wide web for its' wide variety of strength and capabilities. All commerce and social networking is done through the power of the world wide web. All past procurements required you to get in your car and drive somewhere to make a purchase , whatever it was you had to get there to get it. Well that has since changed, you can even have your groceries ordered and delivered same day without leaving your keyboard.... amazing, Car purchases, home loans and love seekers can all find whatever they are looking for on some Dot Com site! at a cheaper price, well except for the love part, that shit never comes cheap and never comes easy, so much easier to find a home than a girlfriend! Don't get me started on Ebay and craigslist, that is another web based industry that people can actually do as a fulltime job, have friends who make big money on these sites. Cannot imagine a world without the web, having to go out to buy things, kids going to libraries to get research materials, setting up the family vacation, or bill paying all can be done online without driving ,without stamps and mailing letters. The amount of goods and services provided online is astronomical. I Blog , I twitter, i message board to interface with the world and people I love and care about... how cool is that. The power of the keyboard is the new Stealth fighter , the M1 tank, so powerful we don't know the limits for they are yet to be defined. Think I'll see what ebay has to offer in motorcycle tires

The Real Rapists

On my drive to work this morning I drove by I'd say, 12-15 Gas stations each with their own brands and mini marts and banner displays, some with Propane fillups and some carrying Diesel fuel. The common thread in each one is that the #'s next to the Brand logos seem to keep changing and going up, sometimes more than once in a day. So after my 3rd grade math calculations of paying 1.89 per gallon a few months ago, the rise and climb has jumped up 1 full dollar in that short time span and cost me an extra $26 per fillup, $26 dollars is what i could fill my wifes scion a month ago and now I'm giving it back to the people who need it the least??? The barrell went from $34 to now over $70 and yet there is no shortage, they are just producing less to drive the demand for fuel up again, thus i take that extra 20,5 and $1 bill out of my wallet everytime i fill up my F-150, V-6 17 mpg Truck. I'm sort of angry but what are we going to do, these guys even have the gall to charge more for using credit or debit cards, how can this be legal, we already pay for the right to use credit cards and debit from our banks and now we get hit twice, I refuse to go to stations with this policy as I feel it's illegal and ethically wrong, but who's listening anyway right? Fight city Hall get put on a list. I've always internally though to myself, I would be willing to pay 2.50 per gallon and never complain, everybody wins here, we have a stable market for budgeting purposes, the oil companies make profits nad we are able to drive our cars to work, for joy and the freedom to come and go as we please but most peole live on shoestrings and have to give up this for that in order to live a quality life with modern transportation. I bet the hay and feed providers during the horse and buggy era were the same bloodsucking , cocksucking greedy fucks that the oil industry have always been, supply and demand? must be nice to create a false supply to determine the demand, all for your own benefit!!!!

Wifes surgery canceled!

What a bummer, our fears came true as my wife woke up this morning coughing and hacking mutations from her innards. Her collarbone/rotor cuff surgery has be postponed until July 10. Terria is really bummed as she wanted to start the recovery process today and be ready for the new school year in late August. But I reminded her that our Friend Brad(Prozac) is recovering quite nicely after essentially the same surgery and she would at least be able to start work in the 5 week period after her newly rescheduled surgery on July 10, she may not be 100% but good enough to do her job with less pain than she feels now i would imagine. So she must re-psyche herself up and gear down the frustrations of having to wait 4 more weeks to do it again. So i will be supportive as will family friends and all that we know, a minor setback but I will give her the love and support and pump her up for round 2. I'm gong to try to take her to huntington Beach to Brads for a celebratory BBQ for his girlfriend college graduation. Hope she's up to it ! Hope to see you tomorrow Mr. Holland, if not I know you understand!

Lakers Steal One

WOW!, what a heartwrenching loss for the Magic and a clutch victory for the local LAkers! Man that was vintage Robert Horrie heartbreak, stick a dagger in the heart stuff right there. Free throws, free throws free throws how can you miss so many damn free throw???? I love the Lakers and am glad they wo the game but really hate to see a team lose a game like they did. Well here's hoping the Lake Show can finish it off so I can concentrate on the Dodgers without distraction! We shall see who comes out and lays harder on sunday but I truly think this demorilizing loss has cooked the Magics' spirits, we will find out, that's why they play the games! Great gae Trevor Ariza. I did think that the officiating was horrible and too many fouls were called early and not enough i the end, take an elbw to the jaw and that's a foul in any league. Sunday Sunday Sunday!

Wifes' Surgery Tomorrow?

As I write this there is a possible snag in the Shoulder/rotorcuff and collarbone combo surgery for Terria in the Morning. She woke up this morning with a slight sore throat, the Anesthesiologist called and she shared this with him, he said as long as she's not coughing stuff up or coughing period he would do the surgery, so as we wait to see if this clears up by morning we are scheduled for a go. She is in too much pain but if the throat continues then the safety factor of her throat seizing with trauma increses and we will not, nor will they allow her to go to surgery tomorrow. But as I said we are a green light if it continues as is with only slight irritation, otherwise she will have to wait until July 10 to have it done as the Dr. is going on Vacation and that is his next available date. So we sit and cross the fingers for the start of a recovery period and the end to alot of her current pain. More info as it comes fresh!!!!

The Good People

Where have all the Good people gone, I know they're out there , I know they exist within my reaches, for my friends and family show me this on a daily basis. But when I escape the comforts of that support group I venture into a vast unknown, the feelings of not trusting or believing that others share the same core values that I do and are they really out there to harm me or my family? The chain of events here recently close to home and on a larger scale had me frustrated and angered at the fact that it may not be safe out there at times, but hell you gotta live and you have to go out and live life, otherwise we call life meaningless and in a sense like living in a prison. I see a homeless person I give him a buck a feel safe with this, how safe is a person like this who has no home to go to at night? what a horrible thought, yet we as safe people go through life with ur false securities as well as our unreasonable fears. where is the good balance and are we seeking out good people,or trying to avoid that which we perceive as a bad person, to be judged by the way they dress, the color of their skin etc? I have to remind myself on a daily basis that we only hear, or read about the bad things that happen, we never hear about the good people, well unless they are clebrities and the cameras are rolling and they're looking for that good image shot. Realistically the people we perceive as bad people are either locked up or dead, the imaginary number of bad people on the streets and in society we will never know who they are. We as humans take our own precautions and don't drive through South Central LA as we know what element is possible to be lurking there ,therefore we minimize the risks as responsible adults and keep our safety at a higher level. But there are so many good people in bad areas that never get the chance to be found out about because of these preconceived fears. I know and trust that there is so much goodness around us, yet we read and hear about the shootings,stabbings and kiilings more than we hear about the little league Mom who donates her time and efforts to the cause or the Man who donates his time to big brothers programs but for the sake of sensationalism these kind acts go unnoticed and we will continue to read about the bad and ugly sides of life. I have faith in people, I believe that there is an inherent good in all and choose to live my life like It means something, for a purpose. The good breed the good and Bad seek out negativity, that portion we cannot control. To quote Shawshank redemption, " get busy living ,or get busy Dying" It's all good!

The Prozac Crew

Like I mentioned in "My support Group" I have a band of special friends, or actually more than friends an extended family of men and their spouses that continually reach out and wanted to expound upon their values to me and my family. The Prozac crew was originally started on a motorcycle message board about 10 years ago , I joined the TL1000R motorcycle message board after just having purchased a new TL1000R and was new to it all so went online and found the board for tips and mods and whatnot. There was an exceptional young man on this Blue board that was ruthless and really hit people hard when they posted what he thought was a ridiculous question or thought, he was good, he was funny, He was PROZAC. He pissed a lot of people off and sent some running from the keyboards as he was "that ruthless" Along the way I met fellow TL owners Erwin8R, Yucaipa, CT, Russman on this board, I actually met Russ and Erwin and Yuc while they were installing a shock for me at Russ' Home in Pasadena. the friendships grew and the board was lighting up with posts, still more Prozacian Verbal Ju Jitzu that few of us were ever prepared for. We met one night in Alhambra for Erwins Bday at a Sushi house i met all the crew in one sitting as they met me ,some for the first time. Prozac sitting there sicker than shit with his GF, Erwns Brother Oscar who is now crew member Doscholiday,his wife Nancy, Chris Mcdonald(CT) his wife Luz and Russman. The friendships grew tighter, we went on rides and Prozac created a new board for member only, the "Black Board" which gave me years of great times! Now move to the present. We now have a state of the art Crew message board, member only Project Medium badass Forum! To date I have 5200 posts on it and we all share so much here that it is like we set up rides, meet ups at the LA coffee house and occational Pizza cookery or Yang Chows , just a band of tried and true friends getting together to talk about each other, the family, the trial and tribulations of each others worlds and even throw in a few interventions to check status of said trials and tribulations.

The Players in this Group

Brad Holland (PROZAC) -The man works from home makes a great living doing internet whatever he does , he does it well. Ex marine Sniper badass fucker! The man is a rock and stone of this group , the inventor of so many phrases that I can't even count. Created more Laugh headaches than I've even encountered before, wll d anything and rides a motorcycle harde rthan anybod I've ever ridden with, but moreso , a man of Virtue and a man of his word, the creator of this Crew of men

Erwin Estrada(Erwin8r) The all around procurement king of Ca. works at a law firm as a project manager and also heads the security group at the Mayan theater. Mr Craigslist and Senor Ebay will buy sell trade bikes ,quads whatever and make money on the deal, all around busy guy with 7 kids and a the epitome of heart and guttiness and grit, Very hard working family man with an IQ off the charts and a great guy to have on your side. he has his Scarlett

Chris Pfeifer(Yuc) lives in Yucaipa hence the short board name of Yuc. The silent assassin works as a Social worker for foster kids and at risk kids. The cleanest most OCD dude i will ever meet, sperates his M&M's by color and has the immacualte toolbox with things lined up perfectly! Amazingly intelligent and dry humor is a man of high chaacter and also a great friend who is a great listener and a wonderful husband to his wife Amy. Very caring and loving couple! always the voice of reason and calm demeanor, Avid Golfer and road and offroad rider

Oscar Estrada(Doschliday) This boy just aint right I tell you, In commercial real estate, makes a great living and has a nice family and home. Dosc is the proverbial fish in the barrel for us on the board, more ammo given to us from him than remington could ever produce. hard working successful sometimes married t his job and his commute home from work, bt has joined the fray and offroaded with us and ridden motorcycles with us a few times. a good man with high values just needs to focus on having more fun away from home, Bring the family Dosc, let Nancy get dirty dude

Chris Mcdonald(CT) The dude has the sickest 4X4 truck in Ca, he is a police officer and is his wife Luz. lives in Corona , this guy has an even sicker Harley and is building his Ninja ZX10R into a superbike to be reckoned with. Good family man with a crazy schedule with his cop wife, 2 great kids and just a fun guy to talk to, always helpful in any situation! Great guy to be associated with.

George(Panda) I met this man about a year ago and feel like I've known him forever, he too is also a cop LAPD motorcycle officer to boot . A great guy who is so giving to all his friends, even guys like me that he hasn't known all his life Very Honest up front keeps it real. has wife and a small boy lives in outer LA suburbs. very gracious with his Teryx and quads when we go out , and has the best cigars that money can't buy. awesome friend and a real caring man

Honorable mentions

Reza- the former MMA and actor the official badass of this group see his infrequently as he is a college student and a full time worker who juggles his home, family , /GF , very sstrong character with great values and another caring man who does alot for everybody e come int contact with. Once picked me up and drove me home 65 miles from downtown LA when I lost my key to the bike. That was awesome!

Baja Mike-I like to call hi Asian Mike, good guy works at Carli suspensin and has helped most of the guys of the board with their 4 wheel trucks. just into riding motorcycles and comes from an ofroad driving background. Very nice kid, don't know well enough but I will the future, getting faster o the bike

Russman (RIP) he left the board and his bnad of friends for noe reason or another , I pass no judgement other than I kinda miss the dude, he s a great guy that apparently wanted to go in another direction socially and professionally. We wish him the best. First guy from this crew that I met

I may have Misspoken in Anger

Sorry to have blamed the world for the cowardly acts of one prson in the Holocaust museum Murder today. The act of one sick disturbed individual should not be all inclusive of the world and it' majority of great people. The fact that this comes so close the the Abortions Dr. being murdered has made me a bit irritable and I have swung the hammer in anger at the masses instead of those responsible for the horrible murders. I understand that the security man Mr Johns may have sacrificed himself for the safety in others during the course of doing his job, and saved many lives in doing so, this however resulted in him paying the ultimate price.... His life and loss to his family and friends, for this he is a hero to me and should be recognized as such by the public. Horrific irony that a racist kills a Black man in a museum that recognizes the Germans killing of jews! Again, my thoughts are with the family of Mr. Johns and those who knew him. we go to work everyday and assume nothing will happen, he went to work today and will never go back again. Life is about perspective I think, I really look forward to going to work tomorrow because I am able, and can do so

Once Again, the world speaks loudly in Hatred

The shooting at the holocaust museum Today is yet another show of the hatred that this country still has for all not Arian and white. I feel bad that we live in a world where nothing is sacred and the value of life is superceeded by its' hatred for those not like themselves! This is just another attack not unlike that of Dr. tiller a week back. I know we are a country of different opinions, but since when do we live like the middle east and have no value for life, the power of opinion is being squelched by terroristic people by scaring people into not having opinions , or standing for anything that varies from their own ideals. i can't say i hate these people for then i become one of them, haters for the sake of hating. How sad it is that this worlds horrible history repeats itself everyday, todays horrific acts seemingly more symbolic due to its location and nature but the same continues on a daily basis in everytown USA . For those who claim there is a God, I'd hope he would step in any day now, this is getting older by the minute.... But they can always blame it on Satan, he's The modern day Lee Harvey Oswald

So I Write and I speak

Throughout my life the pen has always been my sword , I handle the pen and the spoken word as if it were my 50 calibre machine gun, it is my defense mechanism to ward off that which excites me, frightens me,disturbs me and enlightens me, it is all that I am to have the ability to express the various feelings that a person can go through. Communication has always been my peave in life and is the root of all problem solving endeavors in my lifes' experience. As a child I was the vocal one, still am i suppose and thru the early years picked up the mighty pen and found myself another powerful expressionary tool in which to share the message, whatever that may be? Time and life experiences have given me so much to say and so much to write about, but moreso, it has allowed me the chance to speak out , speak up and be heard whether or not anybody reads it or listens,I still vent the good and bad and am able to feel better about things afterwards. I am definitely not the run to family, or run to friends type of person who is willing to share all and expect a help me fix Me response, more of a self help kind of person. I am in fact the guy others come to for advise, or venting purposes and relish that as it makes me feel like I matter because I can help, and that people feel comfortable enough to share their lives with me. So i write from my journeys the pitfalls, triumphs and victories in life and really feel an ally with the sword of defense, my mighty pen. I am very thankful that i have this awesome outlet to share and communicate my views and experiences, and when the ink runs dry I speak a little louder and speak with the clarity that even I, an over communicator can comprehend!

Lunchtime Ritual

Being a big dude I am always trying to become smaller, battle of the bulge is a battle not yet won. But as lunch time appproaches for me I get antsy in anticipation of my trip to the gym and working out the bad physical juju like writing does for the mental portion of the same! As usual I will head over to Ballys in Oxnard, a good 10 minute drive and start the workout of alternating days between body parts,like today is upper body and back, tomorrow will be lower body and cardio, each day an hour of nonstop mayhem of 4 sets of moderate weight, well moderate for me who bench presses 455 lbs and max out all the machines ,but am trying to intensify the workouts towards more cardio and circuit training to get the heart rate up and burn more calories. That's the easy part,the hard part is staying away from sugars and starches, that there is painfully difficult but the gym is enjoyable to me and makes me feel better and i have no problem with motivation to get there. i go during lunch so that i can get it done and not interfere with my family life and wife O' mine that i truly love and adore so going after work would cut into my time with her and the boys. The staff at Ballys all know me by name and are friendly as i usually try out my newest quips on them and 90% of the time they think I'm a funny dude and generally at their expense or the poor sap grunting on the free weights with very little weight on it, those guys crack me up beyond belief, or the mirror seeking narcisists who gotta check themselves out 4 times as they walk the mirrored perimeter... damn funny stuff, but at least they are there at the gym working on their body and minds instead of across the parking lots at BJ's drinking Pear cider and getting hammered. Yeah, the gym is another sanctuary of mine that puts me in aplace that i want to be , next stop after that is the greatest sanctuary of all... Home sweet Home.

My Support Group

I feel that I am the most fortunate man in the world, to be called Lucky would be a disservice to my life and all that make it so special for me. Like anything else in this world we must work to achieve and put in the time and effort to get things right. I already went through 1 bad marriage and a destructive realtionship which followed but all these things have helped to shape who I am and I much I appreciate the things that envelope me. My family is so incredibly special ,my brother and sisters are all successful positive and incredibly Happy people as is my Incredible wife Terria, who is a gift sent from some other planet, and i do mean that in a good way I assure you! I have my best friends, the Prozac crew of Miscreants and all around great human beings and my long distance best friend Shawn Mac in N. Carolina who would all be there in a drop to help me or my family if ever in need. What a great feeling to know that all fronts are covered by family, friends and the love that is shared is too incredible to describe. So i send out my biggest, warmest thank you to all of my support group for always being the rock and pillar to me , my family and friends in this circular band of love and affection. Man it is a great day to be alive in America, or anywhere for that matter.... Thank You!! Honey!! Mom, April, Rich, Linda ,Suzie , Tim, Prozac(Brad) Yuc, Erwin, Panda, Dosc, Shawn Mac, Reza,CT, Vinny and Cookie, Momma Angie, Citty!!!! Hell yeah

My Friend Vinny Hopkins

I have a co-worker here at work, her name is Angie, she is a single parent with 3 kids and has raised them essentially by herself, her oldest child is Vinny, or Vinny Delpino as I like to call him from the famed 80's show Doogie Houser. As an 18 yr old boy with no Father -figure in his life he seeks out that which he has never truly had. I have known this boy since he was 4 yrs old and have taken a liking to him from day one, his sister Victoria is a gorgeous , sweet 15 yr old and is a subject for writing at a later date and both of these kids are special to me. Now Vinny and I have always debated everything , from tweets to in your face conversations. Vinny is a college Freshman at the local Jr college and along with my kids is the subject of much of my teenage experiences and writings about such! As an 18yr old still trying to find his Niche and place amongst the humanity and all it merits and De-merits has dabbled in an array of cultures, from Emo, to the surf crowd, punk rock, hip hop and just an all around seeker of experiences. He is a great kid and our debates are generally about what it is to grow into being a man, he always calls me judgemental and i always tell him, been there done that made that mistake all ready , just listen to me Boy and you will learn from my mistakes and not your own in the painful ways that I and your mother have. But as I said this boy is special and he has so many attributes that make him special. He is a very respectful, very well spoken and articulate young man who asks the right questions and doesn't always like the answers, typical youth right? I hope our debates will go on until he is in his 40's ,or as long as i'm alive because by then he will have a different perspective and i would have mellowed by then as i will have learned and grown as he has, just moving up the ladder of consciousness i always say. Knowledge is power i always tell him, he says Power is evil and I always respond with the same "put a gun in a criminals hand he will do harm , put a gun in in a policemans hand and he will keep you safe, its all perspective and whomever holds the gun for their intended purpose is the determinant of whether it is Good or Bad. Knowledge is Power , for they can never take that away from you. I enjoy talking to Vinny and just try to open up his mind , he is very receptive to it and understands where i come from, even if he doesn't always agree and that's ok by me. U R a great Boy vinny, stay true to you and let your heart and your conscience be your guide, you were raised right and now hold the Ball in your hands.

Keeping it Real

For too long now I see so many around me, want , dream and feel the need to desire that which they don't need or deserve. I have conversations with my teenage boys constantly about the subject of Keeping it real and being realistic with their goals and aspirations. much to my chagrin I see them watching Cribs, or pimp my ride and other sensationalist TV which tends to corrupt the minds of the corruptable. When one of my boys tell me I want a house, or a car like that I will always play the eternal realist by saying"So u want a Car like that? What are you going to do to earn such a piece of art, better become a pro athlete or invent something special other wise Hyundai Accel for you!" I only see more dsaydreamers and less goal setting amongst our youth, more fashion than function, more actions with less thought beforehand and zero accoun tability in those actions. I try to instill that "things do not fall out of the sky, you have to earn and work hard for everything you have and own. But to a teenager who has been victimized by the MTV mentality where people with No talent have a lavish lifestyle and drive the nice car and live in the mansion o the hill, they figure it is their Given right to have the same. But things do not equal happiness and things don't replace love and things aren't what we are about, Things are just what people strive to have and will kill others to achieve, damn sad but true. My only wish is that oneday, they will "Get IT" and seek to achieve instead of hope to Find???

The World today

As I sit here and scratch my head at the amazing turn of events going on worldwide I wonder when and where things will improve. Everything I see and read is anti this or that. The Killing of Dr. Tiller the abortion Dr. really upset my faith in humanity, the fact that religious???? people can do the very thing that they dispise and somehow justify their terrible act. but this is but one of the current events that shakes my soul at this point. The whole political arena has become more Anti, if it has a democratic hint to it it is despised by the republicans who call everything Pork-laden, or Socialist, or my favorite last night was "Obama is recruiting terrorism by trying Terrorist here in the US and Imprisoning them here as well" WOW! talk about far right Paranoia, i guess they feel our supermax Prisons which nobody has ever escaped cannot hold them. I guess what I'd like to see if both parties work for the good of the country and not work at ways to counter attack each others Blogs, news reports or TV networks which tend to lean right or left. I myself am a free thinker, not regsitered to vote, do not side with right or left, just right and wrong. We as adults have set a precedence for the youth of tomorrow to follow our very poor lead and it's not like our youth have too many things to guide them properly besides a cell phone or an Ipod, but thats another story that am constantly touching upon in my personal journals or in my Twitter(Gregasaurus2) This is Greg Duran ,and I like to Rant