in the mirror today

I feel the total weight of the world on my soul right now, i have created a life by taking a life and turning the Globe on its edge. My heart is hurting for it has created hurt, my mouth is dry as it has sucked the wind from anothers lungs and my eyes are red and they bludgeoned the heart, the gut and a soulful mind of its ability to feel like doing much today. I can cry my last tear and feel the gut wrenching pull of hurting my girl and feeling the pains two-fold in my body today. My family is behind me, my mind is in front of my traffic filled mind, and yet i sit here at a lifeless desk and write my true confessions of hurtful act on a special person and try to move along to greener pastures knowing the grass is dying behind me, so I look back in anger, in wonderment at the falling leaves and the changing tides and weather climates ahead of me. there are no forecasts but gloomy , there isno sunshine when eyes are tear-filled with sorrow. That my life comes with no guarantees and warranty cards, but the ability to move along and try to convince myself that i am worthy of anything but a kick in the dick. today is a bad day for me indeed, i hurt , i feel and i breath the last breathe of goodness from a world where goodness seemingly was supposed to thrive. so i will continue to kick myself until it hurts and I get myself where i need to be, time, opportunity and the pursuit of righteousness may pass me by, but the pains of today are here and strong. I am my own worst critic and yet I can somehow find time in my day for love and smiles while its raining on the other side of my heart. (Valarie, this is just Greg exposing himself and his greatest weakness in life, my vulnerabilities and insecurities, and my fear to expose them to the world)