Tribute To My Oldest sister

Some people are blessed with riches and money, others are blessed with incredible minds and talents. I have been blessed with an incredible oldest sister April. Out of everybody that has touched my life this person has been my rock and pillar and helped establish who I am today. Being raised in a loving yet at times dysfunctional family where both parents worked and left the oldest daughter, my sister April to watch and take care of us while they worked, sometimes swing and graveyard shifts. as a mere 10-11 year old child herself left to watch after 3 younger siblings and a sometime alcoholic Father. I remember my April sometimes getting into fights for her younger brothers and sisters, really tearing into those who crossed the line on her precious family, needless to say we were in great hand my our April. But the thing i remember the most is that feeling of not ever wanting to disappoint her in any way, when I got into trouble at school, she was the one waiting for me during that walk home from being detained at school, she would give me the look of anger and disappointment and i knew I really let her down. My parents punishments were really not an issue as my main focus was that disappointment that I gave my big sister. She was often referred to what we now call the "Matriarch" of our upbringing and was the key and focal point in a young boys mind. Even as i got older and progressed through my schooling she was always involved in everything, always concerned and checked that i was doing well in school. She left home at an early age but still continued to take me to appts and attend my little league games and was a huge positive role model to me encouraging me to be my best at whatever I did, seeing the potential that i had athletically and scholastically she pushed me like nobody else could, she was the one i hated to let down , she was the one gave that extra for. Her laughs and smiles to this day have that immediate impact on me as they did when I was a young boy! THen she Got Married To Tim and i felt like she was being taken away, but then i came to grips with the fact that this was her chance to let go and live her own life and allow somebody else to love her the way that we did, the fact that we all love Tim so much made it easier but I still felt a sense of detachment due to matrimony. She is unable to have children and tried for years but it was not in the cards for her, funny that as a school teacher she is able to touch the lives of special Ed students and has touched more lives than she ever realizes, her Man upstairs replaced her own children with the people who really need more than a mother, she has done this for 27 years and the thousands of kids who were privileged enough to have the same type of love and care that i was given makes me feel warm and special inside. For a woman that has so much to give and never asks of anything in return except for the occasional day to sit on the couch and reflect and play on her facebook,or enter grades in her system, just the occasional April hours that Tim doesn't always understand the need for. Well we do and wished she would have more of this time for herself and for her own interests, but those interests always get put on the backburner to solve problems or issues elsewhere, always seems to happen that way. Move to today, after we bought my childhood home from my mother 6 years ago April offered to move my mother into her home with her, set up a neat little room, Mom loved it! My mother of 75 has some health issues and lo and behold April is the caretaker of her now as well, taking her to appts, to the hospital, for tests and just overall being the incredible daughter to her that she is the sister to us. Giving and giving til I sometimes worry if this rock is ever going to crack and split down the middle with the pressures of being a wife, a sister and the incredible caretaker to so many that she has made herself so readily available to become. Writing about my big sister bring tears to my eyes, tears of joy and tears of remembrance to all that she has given of herself for so many years. April McCarthy is a living angel and I know everybody who comes across her understands that they are dealing with a special strong and caring person. If you cross her she will get in your face, if you love her she will give it all back a thousand times over. What an incredible Aunt to my boys and her nephew and Niece Josh and Kristin who have also pleaded many times if they could spend the night at aunt Aprils ..please please please! Yeah , she's that special to so many and I'm sure her colleagues will agree. TErria and i usually spend a couple day a week with her and Tim at dinner , or breakfast and take the trips to Morrow Bay, the bay area and many other trips just to enjoy the time and great fun with her and Tim. We are planning a New York trip this March during spring break and so look forward to the bright lights with the two of them. April you are a well loved , well respected and feel downright weird when we don't see you at least twice a week. I just want to thank you and let you know that I and Terria appreciate you more than we can ever describe in words, you have been the foundation for my growth as a boy, young man and as a good human being who cares and loves by the lessons i was taught by my Big Sister April, I love you and am so Blessed to have you as a part of my everyday. Until we run out of days my Big Sister April, i love you more than I can describe and hope i show you the way you deserve. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!, LOVE BROTHER GREGORY

Concerned! but Optimistic

Went to the Dr a few weeks ago typical BP check and had some blood drawn. Apparently the blood sugar level is higher than it should be so i go i tomorrow to get an evaluation as to what I need to do to bring it down to normal. Other than diet and exercise which has been in place for a longtime now i don't know what else to do. I am sure that this can be corrected and an even more extreme approach will be taken in the form of better diet and more rigorous exercise and see where that takes me in the grand scheme of things. Not much else to write about just enjoying life and doing what i do on a daily basis. Had baked chicken and some sort of veggie medley that I'd never had before, even had fruits for breakfast so the change is upon me now and it feels weird to be eating totally proper and not drinking coffee or sodas, Monsters or Rockstars anymore, even the lo carb sugar free drinks that i have to live without. So it looks like water and juice is going to be my new best friend and see if i can remedy the sugar and see how hard I am willing to work towards getting my health in order. Today is officially day1 of the new revamped lifestyle and know tis is not omething to be taken lightly. So here i go again with another challenge in front of me and looking forward to getting it done in the next 6 months

Rules of Positivity

Life throws out enough curveballs and enough tough breaks throughout the years to give us heartache, headaches and backaches! But thru this all there seems to be a resilience in us human beings that always seems to bounce back and take the world head on. The common thread for me at least has always been surrounding myself with positive , honest ,energetic people, the people that never say never and will always be there to kick you in the ass or pat you on the back whenever needed. I relish the fact that my few select friends are all the things I require and want in no drama, low maintenance pals. And to know that when the bell rings and things get tight i have my back and front covered, always there with the positive outlook providing solutions instead of problems, thats a good place to be. on the other hand, I as a friend and confidant must provide the same and give of myself to those in need, which for my crowd is few and far between. But the way we handle each and every situatiomn in life is in my eyes more important than the issue being dealt with, simple problems can turn into nightmares if mis-handled. My world, my home is a simple yet complex web of daily tasks, all hovering arounfd the mutual respect and admiration for the ones we love and care about. being a father and an example is a key and pivotal role as a dad, however as a parent I can only stress responsibility, accountability and the knowledge of right and wrong, once these children walk out of my doors I can no longer rule or govern their actions, they in fact being the masters of their own rewards or demise! By stressing the positive things and giving them the living examples of consequences and life lessons from somebody who has already been thru it seems like the parental thing to do, whether or not they heed the knowledge and utilize it and not stumple over bumps already travelled is their responsibility. With my friends, and my family "keeping it real and being honest and ultra realistic is the only way i dcan survive. i want to know what I am dealing with, not some prognostication or prediction but an actual knowledge of what I'm doing, how i'm doing it and with whom I am doing it , this may seem extreme and overbearing, but has kept me in line for years and the only way I know how to do things is the right way, which in the end puts us all in that postive zone of knowing where we are and helps us to get where we want to be. People talk about the glass being half empty ,half full, glass too large, whatever it may be it is how we perceive it, the pessimist will see it as half empty, the positive see it as half full whereas the observant person see the glass as too big! I see it as I need to put more in the glass ,I hate half full anything so a full recharge is the only way in my eyes. But the bottom line will always be, think of what we can do, instead of what we can't, be thankful for all that we have instead of dejected for all that we want and don't have, see a negative situatioin as an opportunity to rise above and shine. Be resourceful and enjoy the moment and worry not about that which is beyond our fixing. The solutions to lifes issues are at most times very simplistic, we can sometimes make an easy fix into a dramatic drawn out laborious ,head banging,knuckle dragging hate driven experience (kind of like this sentence ) if we allow it to happen. Think of Can, Will ,Am instead of can't ,won't or don't. negativity can be a cnacer and spread to those around if you aren't positive , you are negative... stay away, fix it or forget it!

Labor

The place I call home, over 53 years old and my childhood home that was purchased from my family some six years ago. Well the place is still on Septic tanks and still requires pumping every now and then, on average once a year. The modern age of sewer system has been introduced to us in the neighborhood and we can now hook up to a main sewer line in the street. First off we had to dig the 100' trench leading from the backyard sewer main to the street hookup in the front. I hired some coworkers kids and my own and a few neighbors to assist in what I was calling "the big dig" to start this past weekend at 10 am! The boys all showed up and dug their asses off , 4 hours of digging and the front deepest part of the trench was dug, half of mission accomplished. The next day we had a full crew of boys and the work was on and going at a fever pitch, boys swinging picks and shoveling the dirt/sand mixture until we had to wheel barrow the dirt as it was too far to throw. This process took over 7 hours and a total of 45 total manhours to complete the job. i paid the boys a $12 per hour wage and fed them Pizza and Rockstars and gatorades on day one and Nathans hot dogs chips sodas and rockstars for day 2. Even made some of the boys Chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs for breakfast as they arrived. It was a dual purpose job to integrate the boys into hard manual labor and get my job done quickly and moreso to show them how valuable an education is and to work with the mind more than the hands. Now that this is done the inspectors will come by and check the gradiant of the ditch, then will put the pipe and inspect for leaks, the fully assmble and then check for compliance, bury the trench and start on the tanks, cracking the bottoms and then fill to the top with dirt sand or whatever we can find. This has been in the works for many years now , even when my parents were in the home but finally gets done and we can now take the longer showers and run the washing machine drain and live like normal people septically at least!

Racial Injustice

After Our new President was elected as the 44th President of our incredible country I felt a real sense of Pride about us, how far we had come as a country to elect a man of color to the most powerful office in the world! Even thought to myself that people of color had to get off the race card thing and stop crying racism for every injustice or mis-appropriation as they saw it. I was tiring to hear people of color, black, brown, Asian, whatever the case may be say that it was because the color of their skin that they didn't get the job, or get accepted in to the college or whatever that particular case was, the fact that it was overused and getting old. Here i am, a Hispanic man of nearly 47 years and have never openly felt discriminated against ,or not given ,or even given something based on my heritage or skin color. I speak proper English and carry myself in the manner that I was raised, to be representative of myself and my family name. I do realize that some of the tensions could in small part to the "reverse discrimination" that non ethnic folks feel when they become part of the reverse cycle and get shut out because they are not minorities. I can understand this anger and two wrongs don't make a right, it's kind of like what the Government is doing for the American Indians, I'm sorry , Native Americans and their casinos that are not taxed ,or taxed very little if at all. This over compensation is not fair to the rest of the tax paying society but Its something that i suppose we could protest if we really wanted to, obviously not many do!
Move to current times and the overzealous and hateful fear mongering that the supposed religious right is taking on as we speak. Funny how religious people can be the wolf in sheep's clothing when it fits their purpose. To be religious is to be fair and supposed to work for God to help and Love all people for all of their strengths and all of their weaknesses, doesn't say anything about color or political or church preference! But apparently there is a divide, when you make policies, or in Obamas case try toi make sweeping new policies it somehow becomes un American and socialism to try to help people who are need of reforms to get health care, to find jobs, and to afford and refinance badly written home loans. Take into consideration that the cask for clunkers program sold over 700,000 new cars that probably wouldn't have been sold otherwise and kept plants and dealerships open and people working so they can live, play and breathe like Americans should, FREELY and with spirit. But that was even called Big govt gets involved in the private sector socialism. Everything the religious Republicans stand for is essentially the opposite of what our new Administration is trying to change. The Way it was is still good enough for them because it was their guy George Bush who made it the way it was , a complete failure and yet these narrow minded people do not want things to improve, based on their antiquated mindset of Being Theocratic instead of Democratic, this country needs a change and what makes it so great is our ability to do so. To hear the nut jobs say that they hope our President fails just speaks of the old buddy system, where it "ain't our guy in there" so we hope he fails and we can say "HaHa" i told you so. there are too many people that have too much to lose to think like these backwoods, slow churners and get back to reality of changing things for the better, leaving things the way they are is bringing Bush back in and giving him another 8 years to fuck it up more so. So rather than sit here and call the right extreme racists, there are some that feel this way I'm sure, but the fact that their religious based ideology makes them, think the way they do makes me proud to be an Atheist, to not subscribe to the belief that a christian in good conscience has the ability to hate lie this and the power to spread lies , fear and deceit with words, signs and rallies, even to embrace a New network ,FOX news to be your mantelpiece of spreading the lies, hate and disrespect for our leaders and our countries. We need to start thinking with our minds, and hearts and consciences again, the guilt fear and lies is old testament to the ways they did things 2000 years ago and you saw where that got those people.

Who amongst us has not used a racial slur, or thought when angered by a certain person, we all have and that makes us human, not racist, but when we stay there and play there and think that everything somebody does or doesn't do is based on the color or creed of their ilk is truly Racism. I've called a black person a Nig Nog, or the n-word, a Mexican a Wetback, cheddar, taco Bender, jews called kikes or jerw fuck oir Auschwitz survivors, Asians dinks, japs slant eyes and so on so forth. But these were all used when these people were acting ridiculous and put me in a state of rage where It was a quick lash out of stupidity on my part based on my anger at the time, Yeas it was wrong and yes i felt bad afterwards for doing so, but for me to get to that point took a catastrophic occurrence to make me explode like that. regardless it was wrong i take responsibility for it and know I was wrong for it. I have good friends and people i call family who are all of the above and varying in all nationalities and genders and sexual preferences and i make no determination other than the fact "are they good ,honest, trustworthy and loving people"?Obviously they are and they are called my internal circle, but am i a racist for slipping up ,NO! Can religious people put in a political circle who pass laws , or don't pass bills that affect peoples lives seemingly done based on origins and skin color and the fact that others don't eat ,sleep and breath biblical terminology and lifestyles? What would you rather be, a typical married couple living in hate and misery, cheating on each other and raising kids to be and do the same as their examples in front of them? or an gay couple who loves and cherishes each other and goes against the norm and is forever penalized for their happiness? Sucks to be different Sucks to be Happy. the system and the priorities of our far right govt needs to be real Christians and do what is best for today's living American people, not what worked for Cain and Abel.... Ok my work is done here!!!!

More Peaves

Got a few things on the mind these days, just a few more things that infuriate me to the end of restraint! I am tiring of all the negativity towards the new President and all of his new proposals, granted the complaints continue to come from the far right Religious nutjob based Republican party. Living in the past on on their judgemental ideal and forgetting times have changed but their arguments are still the same and will never change. If there is a democratic President we hear them the most, the hypocritical rights is getting a bit old and hopefully people will see this transparent hate and fear mongering group for what they truly are"wolves in sheep's clothing" When people call for change the first thing the narrow minded do is say NO, No to anything that Isn't comfortable or their idea. for the past 8 years our former President was allowed 8 years of bad policy, bad diplomacy and horrible decision making and yet got a free pass and was a hero to the republican side, yet 2 ongoing wars and deficit numbers that sent us to the brink of depression are still being cleaned up by the new administration. the absolute disrespect and outward hatred towards President Obama is beyond comprehension. the rumors of Nazi, fascism, socialism and racism form this administration would have put people in jail for treason if the tables were turned and people were calling President Bush these very things. People showing up to rallies with guns and invoking their rights to inflict fear upon others for the sake of being jackasses. This republican world is getting smaller by the day but as they get smaller they seem to get louder and more ridiculous, more so fueled by shock jock radio and TV personalities, Hannity, Beck and limp dick pill popper Limbaugh with an O'reilly chaser to fuel the ignorance. I've never been politically active and still don't vote, but this past election has brought upon a new awareness of seeing our country go from status quo and failing to something bigger and better, where an opened minded approach is now being taken and the republican sector does not want this to happen. It is a sad state when a Sara Palin can even get airtime and yet she is a trophy for their cause with her overabundance of misinformation and closed minded thinking, this is the cancer of our society, not the fact that we are changing at a rate that they are not comfortable with and that they have lost power and control to inflict their views on the masses anymore. This is very evident with their refusal to assist in the health care reform and continued "NO" status on everything that the President runs forward, this roadblock is stopping our growth as a country and as a people, it has become the Hatfield's and McCoys all over again. The solutions are to pass bills with the majorities and stand up against this "NO" brigade of Republicans. As a Nation and a People of intelligent thinking Americans we need to put difference of a few aside and do what the masses voted for, CHANGE, the direction is change and the time is now. this country cannot be totally run by Big business and religion anymore, actually they seem to be the same these days but special interest groups to include religious sectors and big business have enveloped themselves with politicians fighting for their cause. with insurance companies being threatened to lose billions if health care reform passes of course they are lobbying their political friends to not pass this and thus get many financial gifts for impending fund raisers and campaigns! We as people need not show up with guns and threats and signs of negativity ,but demand that Democrats stand up to the close minded agenda driven GOP when the American public is all hurting financially , medically and socially with all the looming gloom and doom being created. I hope our President stands up and makes a stand and passes his agenda, the majority of those who voted for him did so with that in mind, change is here so lets implement it Now. I am sick of the narrow minded,religious based, bible thumping goons trying to push their worlds views on the rest of us. to quote Frank Schaeffer"The extremist right should go to the mountaintops and wait for the Apocolypse and let the rest of us make the world a better place to live" paraphrased but close, this is so true and I hope i live to see the day when the far right is a mere distant memory and calling real Americans whose fathers were POW in WWII who fought for us ,the American public to be free, free from the anti-American right movement from and allowing us to prosper in the worlds greatest country.

Where Do I start, where does it end?

With all the doom and gloom amongst us, the economy, the political mess and health care fight, the Afghan war and on and on. Just got word that a mutual friend of a friend has Cancer, this after a family friend had a cancerous kidney removed and is still recovering! My faith in most things is very troubling to me, here I sit entirely content and as of today all family are in good health and living good productive lives! I scratch my head in wonderment as to the chaos going on around me, knowing tomorrow it could be our turn for the bad news ,or the trajedy, knowing full well there is no antidote for trouble free living! Watching the news today and all of the political mess of the left versus the right, the open minded versus the closed off religious right. People are dying while we wait to pass a good health care bill and yet we are most intrigued with the bottom line and the insurance companies need to make their money by the Billions, people are dying without insurance to pay for health care and we drag our feet while Americans die for the bottom line. Even read where Frank Schaeffer spoke of some of the madness on Maddow and on court TV having to testify in a case where a religious family prayed for their daughter to recover from Pneumonia instead of taking the sick child to the Hospital, it is against their religion to seek out medical attention, As Frank mentioned, where are the death panel protesters now, this type of mindset is very prevalent in the radical religious side of the fence. Mr. Schaeffer would know, he was a Evangelical prodigal son and got out of that life and became aware how ridiculous that mindset really is, now he shares in books and in various pubs nationwide. But to get back on topic, the crumbling of society is a scar proposition. where will we be if health reform does not pass, watching Republicans celebrate for one, meanwhile the people they are elected to serve go further not-served and chalk it all up to lies and fear mongering and instilling excessive doubt for any change whatsoever! People are a fickle beast, on one hand they want to believe everything they hear and can spread a rumor in a heartbeat, but when life and limb are at stake they do what they do again, listen and believe the firs bit of nonsense they hear. The people are spreading hate and fear and deceptive rumors of killing old people and fascism,communism and socialism, if only they could believe in realism they would be a dangerous breed for sure. I salute Mr schaeffer for his devout stand on his life change and realization that sometimes we are wrong and can make the change and improve our lives for not only ourselves, but many others that cross our paths. It's understandable that people all have different fundamental belief systems and ideals and a position religiously, politically and socially, but common sense sometimes needs to override the status quo and what one normally does is not always applicable , one size fits all is long gone and this ever -changing world requires free thinkers who can adapt and think on their feet and help save not only the youth of America, but the rest of us as well

State of my Status

All is well in the Saurusland motel these days, school is back in session and things are pretty good at this time. My dodgers are doing great and need a few piece of the puzzle to get where they need to be, high school football is in swing and the boy is playing for a rival high school now but at least playing, might have to go see him play a game once my anger subsides a bit! The golf game is getting better and the swing is becoming a more consistant smooth affair. The Prozac crew has met a few times here recently and always a good time for sure, the board is going strong and keeping it real on a daily basis. my Blog here has bee a little slow, my laptop took a dump and is in the shop being repaired as i write so hopefully can make additions more frequently and keep my shit updated, so stay tunes and hope all are doig great and that postivity has enveloped your world, cuz my shit is signed sealed and delivered daily to wherever i step... yeah i have it that good, thank Goodness! be good , be strong , be yourself and fuck the Masses

Retirement Of Mat Mladin!

Mat Pictured with Wife at Fontana 4-09

It was a sad day for me and a happy day for Mat Mladin, the 7 time AMA Superbike champion retired after Sundays race in New Jersey. For me it was a long 10 year run of following my favorite racer and male athletic figure. Mat was really the reason I got involved in Sportbikes and was always my inspiration to watch and learn. After watching him get nipped at the line by Duhamel in the 99 Daytona race i knew he was my racer of choice. Throughout the years he was not really liked in the pit area as he was the consummate professional, always looking for a way to get faster and making friends at the track was way down on his list of things to accomplish. Mat didn't make friends and even made some fierce rivalries with his win first attitude. Winning his Championships in 99,00,01,03,04,05, now after Ben spies squeaked out 3 straight he gets the crown back in 09. Mats professionalism and get things right attitude was always an inspiration to me ,I enjoyed watching him at the track looking at data ,talking to his crew while other riders were out checking out the girls or laughing with their buds, not Mat he was all Business and went about things in that manner all of the time. The man would always give u straight answers during interviews and at times was fined for his open comments about the way the organization was running things. Looking back on some old video and some DVR material i have saved of Mat it really makes me appreciate the level of dedication and sacrifice he had to endure for the past 18 years of his racing career. Becoming a father in the past 6 years has made thing even more difficult for him to get out and race with the family being put a close second during the race season. But as this, his final season progressed you could see the fire in his eyes go away, he lost Ben Spies to WSB and had no real contender to push him and test his skills, sure there are some damn good racers here now but none that could push Mats buttons to go like the mad worker he once was. With a huge lead and the competition seemingly at his mercy, he started to not win every race, you could see he was going through the motions and waiting for the season to end. With the new organization totally fucking the series up and taking away real Superbikes for slightly more than store bought machines. His team lost their motivation and drive and coupled with No Ben Spies to push them, racing wasn't much fun anymore. But he brought home his 7th Crown and will retire as the AMA's winningest superbike racer by more than45 wins on the closest winner, 82 wins and over 60 pole positions to close out his AMA career. The series is doomed until somebody else picks up the torch and carries it again, Spies ,Mladin, duhamel, Russell,Gobert,Oliver all the great ones are gone and that is what I entered into this great sport was watching the superstars compete against each other. Now I wonder where I'm going to get my racing fix, WSB with Ben spies seems to be it, but he will dominate that series like Mat did AMA and then go the Moto GP and be thrown to the wolves , but he will win there as well. i hope Ben realizes how important having Mat Mladin as a teammate truly was in his developement, to push and to show the level of work that needed to be done every week was a just a glance to the next pit away, although he's never acknowledged this, i believe Ben is very appreciative for having Mat to teach and show him how to win the tough races, every race they raced against each other was a battle and this has helped him overseas. I will miss Mat Mladin every Saturday and Sunday on Speed TV racing for us all, but i guess being able to retire at 37, own 3 homes,2 planes and your own the largest motorcycle supply business in Australia leaves him with something to do and the family to spend all of the time he so graciously shared with us every race weekend. Hope he still Blogs and Tweets otherwise we may never hear from him again, he is a private guy... Thanks for all of the memories!!!

New School Year

Well the kids are back in school and all the shopping has been done, hell week in football over and the regular season ready to begin in earnest here in a week or so. The new school year brings about many beginnings to some new ends for me, the oldest teenager will be going into the Marines in February after a January graduation from school, the younger boy who is attending a new high school for whatever reason is doing whatever it is he does there and playing football. the wife has started her 22nd teaching year as a school teacher and it looks like a good year ahead for her. The the Marine bound boy is determined to become a Marine for whatever reason he assumes that this will make him a man , might do so but what will he learn and what skills will he possess when he comes back to the real world and has to get a job? I tried to convince him that joining one of the other branches of the military would allow him the opportunity to learn a trade or a viable craft in which to apply to the real world when he gets out, but he stands hard on the fact that becoming a Marine is more important because they are the real men in the military. I'm not even going to try to arrange a thought with that mentality but it is what he makes of it and if manly stature is that important to him than hope he gets what he thinks he deserves, just not thinking for the long term is not a good thing and putting your self in harms way for meaningless wars is not something I promote for any man or woman period, let alone my own son. But lessons in life are sometimes learned the hard way and life is reality check waiting to happen and it will do what it is supposed to do.... Reality bites doesn't it? As for me , the job is great the environment in which i work is awesome and the benefits are plentiful. Just entering my 2oth year her at the same job for the Govt is a testament to my fortunes, good job , great pay , easy work and dealing with people all day that need my help. So all is back on schedule, the boys in school, the wife back working and the weather in socal is incredible, the Golf game gets alot of practice and the motorcycle not so much but when It does it really works like a champ. I guess there is something to be said for routine, it allows most of us to get back into a comfort zone and be more programmed form the free for all head scratching freedoms of time and efforts that we all crave when we are working but when we have free time it seems we can't figure out how to utilize it and its more trouble than having a routine and work to be attending on a regular basis. I guess human Nature has a way of catching up to u s and when we ask for something and get it it Isn't always what we truly wanted or needed in the first place, so back to school is a good thing for the young ,it puts the in a place to learn and makes them accountable for 8 hours a day to be committed to something besides them selves and their own self interests, me I'm always at work enjoying the days and enjoying the days end that allow me to get home and enjoy my family and Friends ,the weekends are an accentuation of all of those things and some extra sleep ,some more gym time, golf and all the things we like to do. times are great!

Another Good One Taken Away!

In this all too familiar tone I say , we lost another good man today, no not in the middle east or in the streets of L.A. But right here in my home town of Oxnard, Ca. I kind of made me sick to my stomach to get the text from my wife saying she read where Former 84 Bronze medalist shot Putter Dave Laut was shot and killed in his own home by intruders. As it turned out he was kind of ambushed while checking out noise coming from his backyard after the dogs were barking incessantly, he went out to check it out and after saying the words"What the Hell are you doing here" he was shot 3 times in the head and killed, not even a chance to be rushed to local hospital to be revived. So here we have a local legend, a family man and a great influence to young and old alike taken from the family ,Friends and associated who remembered him as a gentle giant and a peaceful man , always helping out others and always trying to be that positive in others' lives. He was a teacher, a coach and the Athletic director at one of our areas worst schools, Hueneme H.S and was working on helping athletes get physicals at the school so they could participate in Football for their school. Well later that night he was gunned down and will never be that influence of positivity that he had always bee. I remember as a 21 year old watching the LA olympics in 84 and feeling a sense of pride in Dave as this Oxnard boy was representing his country and himself on our behalf, and proudly so, he accomplished a Bronze medal in the shot Putt. It really pains me to think that his wife and child, his parents and friends will be without the gentle giant who died so violently ,so quickly, and never had a chance to say goodbye to anybody. I feel for his wife and his young child who now are left with that huge void he always filled and now it appears empty and silent. How does a person move on from this , this senseless , needless taking away from somebody who was so good, all taken away by somebody who had nothing and will never have anything but the blood of a good man on his hands. I only hope that they find the person who did this and can make an example out of him and show the rest what happens when you take away somebody who gave so much to so many and now is gone. As I said this really hurt me and made me think that we as a society are not safe, not even in the good neighborhood which Dave lived in, but we are all targets and all have to be ready for that day when we might hear the dogs barking and hear that noise coming from outside. what will we do, how will we approach this? I can only say I have lived this scenario in my mind too many times and am thankful that i have 3 large Dogs who can give me the warning I need with their barking and running about, but is this something I should pursue or just make the call and wait for a police response. I can only say that to protect family and self I am locked and loaded and will use whatever force needed to do so, but the saddest thing about that scenario is that is not how I live , not what i believe in and not how I want to live my life thinking that there is somebody out there who is trying to harm me and my family!Since I've already established that there is no God to protect us, I guess we must do it ourselves and be stronger than the scum and be smarter than the dumbasses who want to take our precious lives from us all. I am sorry that Dave Laut is gone and sorry that his family feels the sadness that they feel, but i think in his tragic death we learn a lesson, not everyone lives under the same rules that we do and to fight against a dirty fighter , you have to do the same just to compete. Well that is a fight I am not losing so i continue to arm myself against this even going as far as teaching the wife how to lock and load in case it happens when I'm not around, this is so sad but the reality of what this place has become, survival of the most prepared I hate to say, but it could be the old west all over again. i hate feeling like this but won't allow anybody to hurt those i love

Homeless

After watching the Movie "Soloist" last night it made me re-think the ongoing problem of the homeless in our society. I've always been enamored with the homeless, it's a sad ongoing issue around our country and it seems to be escalating with our current economy and more people a paycheck or two away from joining the ranks of the homeless. Being a fortunate person and gainfully employed, spouse as well and make a good living doing what we do I always ask myself"how did that person get to that point" As a rule I make it a point to talk to the homeless wherever I go, various cities I've visited always leave me compelled to seek out, and not run from a homeless person. My main objective in conversing with them is to learn, to empathize and try to understand how a person could end up sleeping in an alley next to garbage and filth. At what point does a person give up and succumb to that lifestyle, these are the things I've long searched for. Over the years I've been able to correlate a few common denominators , one being drugs and alcohol , others being domestic violence, loss of loved ones or bad relationships and marriages that they were never able to recover from. Other times you have people who are generally not all there and the streets make them more so after a while. It is a very rough and tough life and have had many Homeless people tell me their stories, some by showing me bullet wounds, or knife wounds or scars obtained in a scuffle of some sort, it is survival of the fittest. So when a homeless person approaches me ans asks for money or something, and I have the time , I will always ask the same question," How did you end up here on the streets" if they are willing, than i will give them a fiver as a rule, if not, a $1. My aim is never to exploit their bad way just to try to understand how life's precious sanctuaries have been taken away ,or given up on, the lives we call normal, with four walls and a steady job and a pile of bills to deal with each month. The daily struggle for survival enthralls me and it grips me so much that it hurts me at times. When i visit my fiends in downtown LA , not too far from skid row where the soloist is based, I always see and feel the remnants of the homeless as we sit there and drink that $3 cup of coffee and that $9 sandwich and converse with each other about family and jobs and upcoming events that we share interests. WE will encounter 2-3 homeless men or woman with their shopping carts filled with their life's possessions and sometimes they ask for money, or a smoke and we usually oblige and watch them walk away with their lives in that cart. I am generally moved and touched at their plight, my friends are better at hiding it than I am, that feeling of being uncomfortable because I can afford the things that they dream about sends that guilt all the way to my innards! My obsession with the homeless runs deep and it makes me sad for them and sad for a country so rich and so wonderful in all that it has to offer, except for the few homeless, last estimate was 90,000 in LA alone but that number has grown for sure. I always had this thought that I would make a difference and do something about it, even to the point where I still think that I want to live as a homeless person for a year and then a book detailing the life and time all chronicled with my play by play and somehow have pictures taken to illustrate the plight of my journey. My ultimate goal would be to donate most of the proceeds from this book to the Homeless cause and bring an awareness to the people who have it so good. But knowing that most people do not want to see, hear or be involved with Homeless people at all seems like a fruitless proposition but the thought is still vivid in my mind. I do realize that some of these people are there on their own volition and that many mistakes had been made to get them there, but the humanistic good ,loving side of me makes me cringe to think that a person has to beg, borrow or steal to get their next meal and shelter is never guaranteed , but fought for. Because i am blessed and i have everything that I will ever need, to include family, friends and a support group that would never put me on the streets if I lost everything I have, how did those people lose it all and end up with nothing, most not even a faith in a God that apparently is off duty for these people, who know, this Country is in sad shape ,we need to care for all people ,even the ones not wearing Abercrombie and Fitch and smelling like Chanel!

Label Whores!

So much of what we do and who we think we are are based on labels! The clothes we wear, the car we drive and the neighborhood we live in all somehow determine where we stand in society... or so most think. I sicken at the thought of people today "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality to feel that they can fit in. The age of $250 True Religion Jeans is upon us all and infuriates me to the boiling point. the fact that a pair of 501 Levi jeans is over $50 now is very sad, but those aren't cool enough for kids or adults to wear anymore, they'd rather look cooler, or think they look cooler in a pair of jeans that look like some Northern Californian sprayed Pixie dust on them and said it was ok to dress like a woman, even if you're a man? The fashion world seems pretty much dependant on Hollywood for its guidance. If Britney or Jalo are wearing something it is now cool and accepted, regardless of how hideous it may be. Then you have the people driving cars they can't afford and have to look good when they are on the road to the $12 /hr job and the nice BMW with the cool wheels, probably leased and the kids at home wear walmart and second hand clothes to compensate for this... nice ? But with all of this being said there is something about a good quality pair of jeans, or car, or athletic shoes that somehow justifies is price. To be able to afford nice stuff is not a crime, to think that you must buy nice stuff and become a label whore is something different altogether. Here is the disconnect with people, the guy who buys a $25k Harley Davidson and ride a few thousand mile per year to the local watering holes to be seen on Harley, the love of riding is not there but the culture of the Harley Label is more important than the ride itself, for me being an avid motorcycle rider is a crime, ride hard , fast and plenty and stop when you're done riding and eat and relax, not 4 times along the ride to show off how shiny your overpriced toy is. This mentality to look cool, and then perceive yourself and cool and part of any culture for the sake of belonging to something that is perceived to be "cool" is as a Man , counter-productive. The difference between me and say my co-worker who owns a Harley is this, when going out for a ride I would say, "gonna ride 33 this weekend" the Harley rider will say," gonna take the Harley out to Neptunes the the Rock store, then meet my other Harley buddies at the coffee bean, did he forget to mention , "the Harley" pretty bikes but useless for doing any real riding. By the Way , My Ride is a 2007, GSXR1000 with all of the necessary upgrades and the areas faster riders as the pilot, enough said about that, there's more technology in my rear Ohlins shock than on any Harley made...period. Today's young kids are really in trouble and have been bitten by the fashion bug frenzy. have 2 teenage boys, one will buy the cheapest most practical school clothes, a pair of Vans that he likes and some black t-shirts and call that his school wardrobe, the younger of the boys will then go out and buy some 514's ,a pair of DC's a quicksilver tshirt or two and call this his school wardrobe, oh and he has a pair of true religion knockoffs he has failed to return to a friend of his brothers, so he is the label whore in our house. All things being equal I must say that certain things I like are very expensive, but almost none of them are household names outside their element, like golf equipment, Taylormade and Ping are a few clubs that i play, now some newMizunos, none of which are the most expensive in their field,nor the most popular however all respected names in the field of golf and functional for the game. For my motorcycles always get the best shock on the market, best pipes and brakes, all which serve a purpose and keep me safer than the stock equipment, my car is a stock white pickup which serves me well and hauls my motorcycle in the event of a long distance hookup that allows me to drive it there and unload. live in an older house, my childhood home that I bought from my mother and am content living there, not fancy but functional. Very simple clothes, hate to dress up and just seems that being cool was never an option, living within my means and my tastes has always taken precedence with me. I live very simply and very practically, i have owner nearing 20 motorcycles in the past 11 years and this is my only true vice if i have any at all, i love my bikes and have fallen in love with my 07 GSXR1000 that has been with me longer than any bike I've ever owned, I've always upgraded to the new model which explains the high number of bikes, that and my wife had owned 6 of those 20 bikes. So i am a simple guy with dual income , nice living, can afford the nicer things in life and sometimes get them because I like something, but never have i used somebodies' ad campaign or seen somebody have something that I said I had to have because a certain person wears it, drives it or would be seen differently if I owned it. Being somewhat practical and being my own person may sound boring and nondescript, but the reality of it is that succumbing to somebody Else's social structure is a marionettes string away from being the puppeteers main attraction. Think, live , breathe and exist in your own space for crissakes. a label will never determine who you are, but could show others how hard you are trying to not be the real you. When others start paying my mortgage , then i will care about their opinion, til then, keep trying to find the real YOU!

The Same

Driving back from lunch the other day I noticed a group of 4 teenage boys riding BMX bikes, all the same type, same seat height, the boys were roughly the same size and were all wearing the same colored black baseball hats. I was at a Red Light and sitting there watching this all transpire, the boy stopped after the crossed the street and were yucking it up and laughing at each others witty banter, just kids during summer with nothing else to do but be kids,, yet they all looked the same with no regard to individualism just stuck on whats hip and cool and looking like 4 twin brothers with very little fashion imagination! After the light changed to green I drove by them and tried to snap a picture to add to this piece but could not snap it off before being obscured by other passing cars. So the day went on drove back to work and finished the workday. As I was driving home and hitting the road I saw another group of 4 teenage boys, about the same age as the boys on bikes but obviously different kids altogether on skateboards, all wearing black beanies, black pants and some skater t-shirts in roughly the same shade of clothing and sharing the same demeanor of coolness and carefree lifestyle and enjoying the summer sun as they legged out distance on the streets and sidewalks . Again the young culture all wearing what skaters or BMX-ers wear totally disregarding free expression of any color, or freelancing whatsoever and all store bought and overpaid at some local skate shop. But seems sad or different to me that here the youth of our time lacks any imagination or freedom to express themselves at all. Times that make our kids conform to uniformity and to fit in is so important that is seems that it has left the Young devoid of any self expression whatsoever unless it status quo and keeping up with their buddies in everything that they wear, they do and represent. Too damn strange and I witnessed it all in the same day!!

Gun Control WTF

Why is Gun control still an issue, the right to bear arms is as old as this country if not older. Yet more nut jobs are trying to make it harder or sometimes impossible for law abiding citizens to purchase guns and ammunition. I as a law abiding citizen feel appalled hat if I so choose to own guns and ammo I get treated like a terrorist and criminal for trying to do so? Why the paranoia ?but some of our politicians still think that legal, good standing Americans can and will go berserker and do something retarded, I mean technically we all have that capacity right? But still here I stand an American citizen with great standing in my community who owns firearms, , legally!!!!But times are different now and the rules have changed since 9-11 and since the crime rates and gang terror has elevated to record numbers. Hey the bottom line is ,K can buy a gun, legal or otherwise in 20 minutes, that is the reality of it all, I can!!! Well with that being said So too can the criminals, the criminals that aren't going to the gun shops and filling out the paperwork , and background check, they wouldn't be able to buy guns this was so they usurp the system and buy them the same way that meth addicts buy their drugs, corner store drug store, no, corner store drug addict! much the same as guns are purchased from street arms dealers where a new or great gun can be purchased for 2-500 dollars easily with no paperwork or background check. Look the bottom line is this faux protection plan to protect Americans against criminals by making it more difficult to buy guns is hurting the people it is intended to help, the law abiding citizens. The criminals are essentially immune from this interrogation as they can and do get unmarked, unregistered handguns and firearms. The problem I have is that the Govt that tells us that gun control is the answer and the outdated methodology only hurts and hinders those people such as myself who would never use a firearm unless It was a matter of self preservation, but yet we go out in this cruel world and be subjected to people who do not share the same moral fabric that I and 98% percent of Americans hold true. We then become the victims to carjackings, robberies, rapings and muggings most held at gunpoint or weapons of some sort and none of these damn weapons are legal or registered . So the victims once again are the law abiders' who don't carry guns on their person as they are not going to use them for anything other than home protection or target shooting,sport shooting but shooting at another human being is never the objected target for this 98% . that 2 % that does miss use is now housed and paid for by us, The Taxpayers of USA in the forms of Prison sentences and better health care than most Americans can get today. If I were a criminal, I would definitely think twice if I didn't know the car, or person I was about to Rob had a firearm or weapon on their person, like the old West, the fight would be fair but NO! We imprison the scum, reform them and send them back into Society for a second chance to get away with the crime this time, Prisons are no reformatories, they are Criminal schools of higher learning to teach hatred and pain and misery to be bestowed on as many honest people as possible! Justice is a magazine clip away, but we are the hindered and we are the perceived ill for wanting to have a fighting chance.

Keeping it real!

I have lived my entire life as a person who always tries to do the right thing, tries to be a good Husband, son, Brother and friend to all. Hopefully i have succeeded more than failed in this dept. ,but the one thing that i can truly say is that I am the extreme realist, always have been always will be and have at times been deemed"negative". that in itself usually gets me going and I point towards the world today, the topics that drive us and keep our attention. Things like Michael Jacksons death and the fact that we still sensationalize this pedophiles life and death as real news, it's not, Jobs and mortgage payments are real life trajedies but we as americans live in that social unrealistic bubble and want to stay there! Move the hell on with it, the we have the damn Reality shows which are anything but heavily scripted bullshit, American Idol, survivor, americas got talent is just a dose of the dumbing down of our American culture as a whole. Oh shit,Paula Abdul doesn't want to come back because she won't make 20 million to sit there in here drugged out state and make slurred ridiculous comments, Fuck! like this bitch had any talent back in the day and has even less now, woo hoo she could dance a little, so could michael and look where his dunmbass ended up..... Worm fucking Food! she is on that overdose path as well...I hope. But aside from the ridiculous programming on the tube which I can't watch anything but Documentaries , the food channel ,or sports anymore, I am really saddened for the youth off our present and their futures. what do they have to draw upon for real guidance, all they know is cell phone, myspace ,facebook and the inability to be able to construct a real sentence because they text their way thru life. Then they expect the world to be handed to them lacking any real work ethic or true understanding of the word "work" I guess watching Cribs, or the" real world" or Kardashians doesn't show that in its' episodes so they won't learn reality there, or from their parents whom they rarely speak to anyway nor listen do when they do. We as Parents need to step it up and make sure that we let our kids fall and preach to them the trial of their paths of inactivity and unrealistic views, and for goddamn sake, quit trying to be your kids' best friends and say NO on occasion , it Will serve you better and them better in the end. but we owe them 18 years of our best so that the following 60-70 of their lives they can blame us for anyway. So as i look out to the world, i see a huge cartoon and burlesque show of ridiculous unabashed lack of awareness and understanding for what is real and what it worthy of our time and efforts! Sometimes i try to establish a rationale that times are different and times are harder for kids, but as i see it the choices are more the lack of imagination is higher and technology has made our young lazy and inept at acting on their own and making rational decisions based cause and affect and taking ownership of their lives and becoming accountable for their own successes! But if, "ifs and buts were candy and nuts ,we'd all own our own candy store. Time for us to stop the dream ,and start making it a reality, a reality which requires a sense of grounding that most of us do not have the potential to adhere to. Every problem has a solution, every problem is a lesson waiting to be learned. Some problems may be a tasks we don't want to deal with , differentiating this is the magic key!!!! Keeping it all real takes some of the managable variables out of the equation! Good Luck and Good Mental health

Thoughts A Plenty

Things are going very well in my life, things generally do! I guess I try to avoid drama at all costs and that has made my life a better place to be. I've already done the major bullshit in my life and made the major mistakes already, having learned from them as a 46 yr old dude who never wants to grow up. I guess I really have trouble finding flowery or overly positive things to talk about, My life is one positive asset that I try to keep to myself in a sense and don't like to brag other than the fact that I do live a very good, happy lifestyle! That being said I surround myself with purely positive people and try to interject the same in return. I don't like to always be a negative Gus but so much around this world pisses me off, I try to put a positive twist on things but my opinion always gets in the way, I always expect others to see the Forest thru the trees and get thru the hangups that life throws at us sometimes. As I may have previously mentioned I am the oldest person in my crew of friends, most of which are my sportbike riding friends that all gather as many times as possible, most living in the Greater LA area ,I'm 70 miles away from my friends but we always seem to get it together for rides or for desert action on Quads and trucks. Again I am so very fortunate to have an incredible family and friends and we share so much goodness and great times doing so many various things, it's amazing. I have been watching a lot of Food network lately, as a matter of fact I'm blogging here as I watch the Iron chef and take mental notes on food and flavor profiles I always take away something from it and utilize it on the next home cooked meal ...somehow i always do. Made oatmeal for the first time in m life and thought it was out of this world, must have been the natural vanilla bean from mexico, and the dash of cinnamon and brown sugar added to the boiling water then carefully added the oats , damn tasty. But as I said I' always open to new things and always open to improve upon preexisting things in my life, so Im always open to anything at anytime, this I feel keeps me young. I really do enjoy this Blog and my Twitter, it allows me a shot at being a self venting machine to use as an outlet and it makes me feel better, kinda like a best friends shoulder that is always there, this is an outlet that is always here for me and my thoughts and ideas are always on , well the ones that I want to share the really good stuff is in the personal space vault and sealed for whenever. My head is so abstract and yet so simple , things are always open ans shut ,or so they seem to me,I guess I'm searching for that open mindedness everywhere ,where the solutions to a problem are but one thought away from closure, but thats me and my thought process, can't say that I'd understand my angle if I were looking from the outside looking in at myself. But damn, i try to be respectful, and understanding and tolerant of others ' difference ,It just seems to be getting harder the older and wider I think I get?? Well that there is always up for discussion but either way I am probably a quick quip away from a headshake and a Fuck You from somebody somewhere ! But pleasing anybody is never the first thing on my lifes' Docket, just the ones that i love , and they allow me a certain leeway that most people would consider being Spoiled, I do , therefore I am! Good night , Iron chef judgement awaits!!! Night All !!!

State of My Union

I'm still doing great and feeling well and the fact that my wife is healing nicely from her recent shoulder/collarbone surgery is a huge relief to all. Not much going on in my life but the normal humdrum of everyday, the boys are being young and incredibly dumb, Ty got his first speeding ticket, 5 weeks into owning his drivers license! Braz is still unemployed and using and abusing his low self esteem GF Nikki Noodles, love that little girl but she is a moody little girl and never know which girl is coming to visit? Work is great, the summer is awesome and the diet is going great ! My ambition is to lose 60 lbs by March timeframe and the New York trip, I will do this and feel good already having lost 10-12 lbs and working harder at the gym and at the dinner table. Still following my dodgers and finished up the Tour De France and all its glory. The Motorcycle season is closing down and am somewhat unsettled as to the direction the new organization is taking, i fear that it will lose its best racers to its lack of focus and vision for the future, Mat Mladin my true hero and champion of racing and strong opinions has come right out and said he has lost interest and hope and can't wait for the season to end at this point, this being said with a 100 plus point lead in the championship. This troubles me but maybe there will be a new star riding in his own camp with him as we speak. World superbike is doing well and Ben spies is coming on strong, the American is kicking ass and taking names and with the exception of a few crashes ,some not his fault he would be way in the lead in that championship, but he is a few points behind and should take the lead after the next 2 races for sure. My interest in my GSXR is high right now, the weather is right, the roads are free and I can't ever wait for the weekends to get on the bike and ride the hallowed local canyon roads in my own backyard. Yes, all is well in my world and Mom is even getting better after bouts with hospital visits for her ongoing BP problems and kidney issues,but there is a cure in sight and I am happy for that, yes all is well and i feel somewhat fortunate for feeling so good and enjoying life as I know it should be enjoyed. Not much to complain about in my world, for if there was I would just fix it. as far as the rest of the world, they can go get fucked with their stupidity and narrow mindedness and closed off thought process, i swear everybody s a bible thumping Republican or something, but the world is one of those can't control, don't sweat it kind of propositions and cannot be too engrossed with its' issues and only rant about my displeasure's to vent and wish everybody had things easier and simpler for sure. Yeah what we find as newsworthy is somewhat disturbing to me, we still talk about racism about police officers arresting a black man we still speak of Talentless starlets who date athletes then break up and think its important and newsworthy,it's Not! And we still somehow lose in the muddle the important things like Health reform and world politics in the middle east which generally start most of the worlds' conflicts, yeah these things piss me off and wish the magic wand of the Gregasaurus could make it all right, but I can't ,so i don't and leave the world to fend for itself, I can control my world and do so rather well -thank you very much!

Post Op

The surgery on my wife went well and the recovery has begun. with Much pain and discomfort and many attempts to get comfortable wherever she sits. But being a work in progress time is our best friend and with each passing day come a healthier shoulder and collarbone healing by the minute! Each day brings her more movement and more self therapy and exercises to make it mobile once again. She has the boys and her mom hanging out with her dudring the day when I'm at work so i'm at ease with her being taken care of well. A big load of worry is off our minds and now we can look forward to being healthy for our New york trip this upcoming Spring break. Good Times Indeed!

Wifes' Surgery

Tomorrow is the long awaited once cancelled surgery for my wife, her collarbone and rotator cuff need surgical help to get her back on trach. Originally scheduled for the 12th of June she had to cancel as she caught a cold and they would not do it. So the 21st July is the date and that is tomorrow so I keep positive thoughts and hope that she comes out fine and that her recovery is as quick and painless as possible for my wonderful wife. I would be lying if I said that I was not worried about this as her collarbone is dangerously close to her windpipe and that scares me and the doctors as well but the say that they have it under control! So I put my trust in the medical people and cross my fingers for good things to happen, being a Atheist I couldn't very well pray, not only would that be hypocritical but a waste of time, things will go as the are supposed to and I have to believe that even amongst all of my fears of something bad happening to my sweetie that she will be just fine tomorrow!

Warming Up again

Summer is here and it is Superbike and golf season again, actually here in socal it is All things all of the time and every season is year round here, compliments of our incredible weather. S riding the bike has started back up with new tires and brakes to jump start the busy riding season with the boys from the Prozac crew! Waitinf for the Mizuno Golf clubs fdrom the UPS man to start playing more golf, figured 10 years out of my Pings its time for some new clubs and a new attitiude for the summer season of Golf. Hoping to get back into the 80's again with my golf score and continue kicking ass on the superbike chasing Prozac around southern california on the GSXR and crewin it up with the boys from the crew! Yes it is going to be a break through summer here in the Nard. Good times ahead, busy schedules, healthy lifestyles and much goodness to look forward to, more of the same for next yea too!

Disrespected and Betrayed Again!

Our 16 year old who transferred high schools thinking he was going to play Football has already been told he was ineligible per CIF high school rules, but yet he wants us to fraudulently sign a court paper saying that he lives with his dad in order to play. We said we would not lie and would not sign anything. He now wants to go to the courts and plead his case that he is living with his dad. How do you convince a kid that wrong is wrong and rules were set up so that kids don't transfer every season to play at a particular high school with programs that are better than their current school at a given sport. Once again the narcissistic side of this kid comes out and he's playing the victim role when in fact cannot take responsibility for the lack of forethought in his decision and wants us to lie to make his bad decision a good one for him. We have too much integrity and especially with his betrayal to his mother and I will never sanction anything for his benefit again, it's called biting the hand that feeds you and shitting where you sleep. We don't lay that backdoor , deceitful crap and feel ashamed that our lessons went unwatched and un-heeded, too bad, the boy has lost his only ally. Too bad so sad, can't help those who choose not to take the best gifts in life that are given for free.... Integrity, wisdom and Honesty!

Lifestyle Change of Getting Healthy!

today was the first day to try to get back in shape and lose weight and get healthy. My wife , sister and brother in law are taking a New York trip next March and made a bet of weight loss and health status by the time our trip kicks off. Wife and sister proclaim 40 lbs each ,brother in law 25 lbs and I will lose minimum of 60 lbs and will try for more, but am sure 60 will be managable. I go to the gym religiously and will have a goal in mind and that the bright lights of new york and being healthy are all the stimulation I will need. Today was the first day of eating right and staying active at the gym. Having been down this road before at a much younger age I will need to be uber disciplined and know that the body metabolic meter is turned to the low settings and that I have to jump start my system with ,the right foods, plenty of water and an exercise regiment of Cardio and intense resistance training and a circuit of high reps ,low weights at the gym. The gym s the easy part, the worktime potlucks and the family BBQ's will be the hardest thing to resist, that and the fact that my specialties are cooking and baking, fllowed by testing said cooked products. This will be a battle, but it is a battle that I am willing to work towards and sacrifice my cravings for the bettermentof my health. So come 8 months from now I will have a good story to tell and a better feeling of health and a spring in my step that has been missing for a long time. Here's to lifestyle changes and and a re-directed positive energy!!

Neverland!!! WTF

On my way home from Morro Bay my Older sister talked me into stopping by the Neverland Ranch to see the drama unfold, we did and it was crazy stupid, more on other Blog Http://gregasaurus-openthemind.blogspot.com

Putting Things Behind me

With the recent happenings with the Boy , me and My wife have decided that we are no longer allowing the boys to shit on us anymore and disrespect us and themselves by taking the quick fix easy way out that their father always seems to provide them. We have provided the examples of proper living and taught them the ways to succeed in life and that hard work and perseverance are the cornerstones to leading a good propserous life. We have given and provided too much now and will pull back the reigns and see what Mr. wonderful ,their father can do for them emotionally and financially, the man is bankrupt on all fronts so they get nothing but the fact that they screwed the people who have been the protectors and providors of all things good to try and develope in to young men instead of todays' typical youthful slug! I am very bitter at this last chain of events as this boy was riveted to everything I said and did and i gave him the love and attention that a stepfather rarely does, introduced him to all of the sports he played, showed him how to catch a baseball, football, Shoot basketball and anything else athletic he got from me! But a young mans memory and allegiance are never far from a bribes swoop and I have lost him to the golden touch of fantasy land, where no is never heard and parents don't know what their kids are doing and where they are doing it, but they can call their kids friend!! I won't participate in this bullshit and can wash my hands from trying to do right by somebody elses kids! Game over !!!So i move on and await the final 18th birthday and live my life with my wife, no burdens, no worries, no fucking disrespectful kids

Deceived and Cheated

I feel a sense of fury that I haven't felt in a long time. When my step son Ty decided to go backdoor on his mom and I the other day and really upset my applecart. We bought Ty a used car and paid for his drivers training and drivers ed online. He's a 3.5 gpa student and an overall good kid that sometimes suffers from narcissistic tendencies,it's seemingly always about him and he whines when he doesn't get his way. So he had his car, got a job at the local Vons and was set for a football season on the Varsity team. Going to summer practices was a chore as he was working and couldn't make all of the practices so he wasn't getting the reps in practices and felt he was not a coach favorite, trying to explain that if I were a coach I would give the reps to the person who is always there. He then made excuses that he had to work to pay for half of his car insurance and all of his fuel costs, we then explained , lifes' about choices and that come season time he would have to earn his starting spot back with hard work, he then says the coaches don't like him but we emphasized that he needed to put the work in and earn that spot when the pads were on in the fall. His father moved back into the area in May and apparently they had an agreement that if he moved to camarillo that he would be enrolled at Camarillo high come new school year in September. Thus of course all unbeknownst to us and the other day we were blindsided by him as he said he wanted to go to Cam high, he asked, knowing full well he was going to do it anyway and we said hell no you're not. He whined and whined why why why? and we told him that this is his school and that he had no business going to the rival school because he didn't want to play for his current school because the "program Sucks" Well his dad and mom spoke about it and apparently he thinks that a 16 yr old should be able to make a decision on school issues because his daddy wants to be his friend and not his parent, so he pulled his trump card and I pulled mine, I took his car away and took his insurance away and already assuming that we would do this his dad bought him a beater vehicle to use all backdoor so that he would go to the school he wanted and still have a car to drive. We have thrown our hands in the air and have give up on trying to raise this guy with morals and ethics, and apparently hanging out with the kids in camarillo where his dad lives has become a partier and drinking when he is at his dads house, all of which we do not tolerate and would never attend paties on our watch which is currently one week here and one week there. I introduced both of my step boys to sports and being honest, developing character and being true to themselves and being leaders not followere. This is a serous setback for me and their mother, we feel a breach of trust and a real sense of letdown in knowing we have provided the proper examples both verbally and in lifestyles. I feel that this experience has really opened my eyes as todays youth is so selfish and live for the moment that we as Parents are in for a long line of disappointments in this quick fix youth movement . Both of my step boys have breached our trust and I can honestly say not because of their mother, I truly feel that this easy way out mentality is a genetic defect that they obtained from their Mr. Wonderful Disneyland Dad. Sorry but I feel I gave so much over the past 11 plus years to these boys only to be shit on and watching the disappointment that the mother feels hurts me even more. Thank Goodness for Brandon , my 23 year old who has made his childish mistakes and has atoned and grown and thanked me for everything I have taught him, no better feeling than to be rewarded with respect and appreciation from my child. I always hear my wifes voice, 3 more months til one of them turns 18 and a little over 16 months before the last one turns 18, then we are officailly done, or at least I am, lifes lessons will play a cruel trick on those who do not respect their parent, the parent who says no for a reason, not yes to be looked upon as Super dad. So I vent and feel better but still feel deceived and cheated upon for the easy way out was taken and that's not what we are about!

June 30,2001

Today is the 8th anniverary of marrying my Wonderful wife Terria, It seems such a short time ago that we had our motorcycle weeding riding to and from the little chapel on our Motorcycles. It was agreat day and has been continued on a daily basis! I wrote more on my other blog http://gregasaurus-openthemind.blogspot.com

Belief system

As some or most of you may know, I am an Atheist, I think I always have had the doubts that a God existed in some sort or fashion. Even through my Christian days of going to church and praying at night I often found myself praying when i needed something , when somebody was sick to heal him or her, to give me that job to make more money. All of these things in retrospect are hideous attempts of Christianity on my part, so as time went by I eventually came to the belief system of not believing in a God, or a given religion. In my travels as a 46 year old man I have been very fortunate in having a strong family, strong friends and a wonderfully strong wife today to support my stance on life! My experiences have taken me all over the map spiritually, Baptised, then born-again and then somewhat agnostic, now I live in a free-thinking world of trying to live under the golden rule! where there is no questions as to which God, which prayer or which portion of a certain bible I am supposed to aspire to live by. I have often been offended at the fact that was supposed to fear God and and to accept him into my life and try to spread the word onto others and only then would I be a candidate to enter the pearly Gates of Heaven. My argument for this has always been, if that is the case then Hitler, Daumer,Hussein ,Rapist Catholic Priests and all of the earths other past and current Scumbags would by default then be able to declare that they have found God and accept the Lord as their savior. This loophole has never set well with me and I get furious at the thought that simple declaration like this will put you in Gods good graces regardless if you practiced genocide, or rape, just show repent and you get a golden ticket, whereas people like myself who live good productive lives and help people when we are able to are not even considered for this supposed prize at the end of the tunnel. There are too many fake people in this world chasing the end game by reading an inaccurate book and living fake and fear-driven/ guilt laden lives. If there is a God he has done real shoddy work, living in this world where it's survival of the strongest this doesn't seem like the work of a loving caring person, never mind the fact that we can take a snap shop of Africa, and the middle East and the value of life is below zero, impoverished people who's only crime is that they were born in poverty and born period, and live to watch the children die in their arms from malnourishment! This my friends is not a perfect world, but why should I as a man have everything I will ever need and others have nothing but the license to die hungry or take an undeserved bullet to the head for protesting a belief. If there were a God and he is as the believers say, then why can't he treat all the same, why are some like myself given all, and other given nothing but suffering and pain. Some of our most devout Christians are in our prison systems, repenting for their bad deeds as the Scum I described earlier, they seek out that blank check to free them from what they feel is eternal agony and write their way to Heaven. where was God when they were committing the crimes on others and taking others lives ??? I tire of hearing we can blame the Devil for all that is bad ,this lack of accountability for all that you created by saying "If you win, you are my favorite team, if you lose i don't know you and you can't play for me ...Ever" Is total hypocritical bullshit that needs to be addressed by the Theologians that claim there is a God. I received an angry Email by a gal friend of mine here at work, a poem of christian goodness , you know the ones that make the believers feel good about the day. Knowing I am an Atheist still sent it out to me, I responded with that's sounds so nice but in reality that's not how the world works, I threw in my analogy of the Scum being able to attend the pearly gates by repenting and the reality of it is giving bad people a blank check to be bad knowing that they can make amends 11th hour! The response I got back put me in hell according to her and that I would be sorry come judgement day,and well, inspired this Blog response to all those who judge me, want to convert me and think less of me for my beliefs. I am a good person who has and will continue to help and care about others. my belief system is to be the bigger person and help those that you don't even like, but being a good person is the key and essential point. I know too many devout Christians who keep throwing the bible at people but continue to trip on the pages that they don't understand. Goodness is how you live and do for others, not talk about how Good it is to be you. Anybody can be a hero when the cameras are rolling,then share the story of a good deed done but the obscurity of honesty in the dark when all that know are those that count, there is the feeling of being a good person and knowing that I didn't have to read it out a book or go to the confessional to be that Goodness, for I just try to be that good person and sometimes succeed and sometimes fail, but when I fail I hold myself to the accountability of one, ME ! for there is no devil and there can't be any God, just good people and Bad fighting and trying to co-exist in a poorly designed world!

Moms' Health

We took another trip to the Emergency room last night with my mom, being treated for High blood pressure and being on 9 different prescriptions we figured she was on a road to recovery of some sort. Just having been released for the hospital 6 days ago for same condition!!! So we go to yesterday and she feels sluggish and has very little strength or drive, blood pressure was low and pulse was even lower, something is not right... again. So we eventually decide to call the Paramedics per the on call Dr. Orders form Kaiser. The Paramedics arrived and were alarmed at the weak pulse so they made the decision to take her in for a check to the ER. Once in the ER they were able to get her settled and try to figure out what the heck was causing this opposite affect of what we was initially being treated for. Come to find out of the medications one was causing her to dehydrate and make her feel light headed and weak, yet the Dr tells her to keep her liquid intake down due to the congestive heart condition she had faced earlier this year. so how to keep hydrated when you have an order for low liquid intake is beyond me, and one of the prescribed meds is causing dehydration. Well She has been trying to get this fixed for 2 years now and we are about ready to ditch the Medical insurance route and go to UCLA and get some real results. My 75 year old Mother should not spend her last years visiting ER's and urgent care facilities to solve very fundamental illness'. So today she has 2 Appts with specialists to figure out the medications and slowly ween her off of some and see what it causing the spike in BP and then the fall. hopefully the Kidney Dr will have a better plan of attack that 3 hospital stays and 4 trips to ER this year could not solve. Step it up or get out of the way , This hopefully could be the beginning of a positive fix , or so we are hoping. Really sad to think that I had lost all hope on the Medical industry and lost patience with their overly procedural attitude and no aggressive means of healing sick people. But as long as they have a prescription pad they can call themselves healers!