Belief system

As some or most of you may know, I am an Atheist, I think I always have had the doubts that a God existed in some sort or fashion. Even through my Christian days of going to church and praying at night I often found myself praying when i needed something , when somebody was sick to heal him or her, to give me that job to make more money. All of these things in retrospect are hideous attempts of Christianity on my part, so as time went by I eventually came to the belief system of not believing in a God, or a given religion. In my travels as a 46 year old man I have been very fortunate in having a strong family, strong friends and a wonderfully strong wife today to support my stance on life! My experiences have taken me all over the map spiritually, Baptised, then born-again and then somewhat agnostic, now I live in a free-thinking world of trying to live under the golden rule! where there is no questions as to which God, which prayer or which portion of a certain bible I am supposed to aspire to live by. I have often been offended at the fact that was supposed to fear God and and to accept him into my life and try to spread the word onto others and only then would I be a candidate to enter the pearly Gates of Heaven. My argument for this has always been, if that is the case then Hitler, Daumer,Hussein ,Rapist Catholic Priests and all of the earths other past and current Scumbags would by default then be able to declare that they have found God and accept the Lord as their savior. This loophole has never set well with me and I get furious at the thought that simple declaration like this will put you in Gods good graces regardless if you practiced genocide, or rape, just show repent and you get a golden ticket, whereas people like myself who live good productive lives and help people when we are able to are not even considered for this supposed prize at the end of the tunnel. There are too many fake people in this world chasing the end game by reading an inaccurate book and living fake and fear-driven/ guilt laden lives. If there is a God he has done real shoddy work, living in this world where it's survival of the strongest this doesn't seem like the work of a loving caring person, never mind the fact that we can take a snap shop of Africa, and the middle East and the value of life is below zero, impoverished people who's only crime is that they were born in poverty and born period, and live to watch the children die in their arms from malnourishment! This my friends is not a perfect world, but why should I as a man have everything I will ever need and others have nothing but the license to die hungry or take an undeserved bullet to the head for protesting a belief. If there were a God and he is as the believers say, then why can't he treat all the same, why are some like myself given all, and other given nothing but suffering and pain. Some of our most devout Christians are in our prison systems, repenting for their bad deeds as the Scum I described earlier, they seek out that blank check to free them from what they feel is eternal agony and write their way to Heaven. where was God when they were committing the crimes on others and taking others lives ??? I tire of hearing we can blame the Devil for all that is bad ,this lack of accountability for all that you created by saying "If you win, you are my favorite team, if you lose i don't know you and you can't play for me ...Ever" Is total hypocritical bullshit that needs to be addressed by the Theologians that claim there is a God. I received an angry Email by a gal friend of mine here at work, a poem of christian goodness , you know the ones that make the believers feel good about the day. Knowing I am an Atheist still sent it out to me, I responded with that's sounds so nice but in reality that's not how the world works, I threw in my analogy of the Scum being able to attend the pearly gates by repenting and the reality of it is giving bad people a blank check to be bad knowing that they can make amends 11th hour! The response I got back put me in hell according to her and that I would be sorry come judgement day,and well, inspired this Blog response to all those who judge me, want to convert me and think less of me for my beliefs. I am a good person who has and will continue to help and care about others. my belief system is to be the bigger person and help those that you don't even like, but being a good person is the key and essential point. I know too many devout Christians who keep throwing the bible at people but continue to trip on the pages that they don't understand. Goodness is how you live and do for others, not talk about how Good it is to be you. Anybody can be a hero when the cameras are rolling,then share the story of a good deed done but the obscurity of honesty in the dark when all that know are those that count, there is the feeling of being a good person and knowing that I didn't have to read it out a book or go to the confessional to be that Goodness, for I just try to be that good person and sometimes succeed and sometimes fail, but when I fail I hold myself to the accountability of one, ME ! for there is no devil and there can't be any God, just good people and Bad fighting and trying to co-exist in a poorly designed world!