My Session

Really looking forward to our therapy session tonight, i feel this has been a long time coming and need to feel the freedom to express myself in a venue other than this. I was very nervous about tonights session with the therapist but feel really good about it no and look forward to getting there and unloading my thoughts and feelings in the hopes that there are some answers to my recent behaviors. i have some ideas in my headas to why but i am too close to the situation and am my own worse critic and judge of what is real and what is perceived. I go into tonights session with the openness that i live my life in, the open book mentality and the care -free approach to dealing with things the way they should be dealt with, open and honestly. In my nightly conversation with Terria we discussed what we each ventured to gain from the session and how we would approach the difficult and tough issues, the fact that i was emotionally and physically with somebody else while maintaining the high level of love and admiration for Terria is a tell tale sign that I was not in a good place, yet chose to pursue this with another woman even though my mind and heart were still with my wonderful wife. but we can move on from the trials and tribulations of the hurt and pains left behind by my actions. i have made no illusions to the fact that i allowed myself to fall in love with another woman and fell pretty hard. The facts that the this girl left me twice to go back to her home was not an issue with me, she actually did what i was unable to do, i thought my word to her was more important than the bond to my wife and it proved to be my way out of this relationship and onward to where I am today, a better place where everyday means more than just a weekend getaway and a drive to meet my girl for fun and laughs. The fact that life has taken over and realities are what they really are, Real and must be dealt with. I have heard so many conclusions as to why I did what i did and what I was dealing with in an emotional sense from my girl. When dealing with opposite sides of the track where one relationship was seemingly perfect and the other was broken and in need of repair there was a sense of disconnect there from day one. I feel good about the facts that we can both go back and fix, if not salvage a broken marriage and a perfectly good one as well, either way the trust and deeper seeded issues will be dealt with on my end and will give me a sense of accomplishment when i can look back on the 3 months of my life that will forever re-shape the way i perceive the people that i loved the most, Myself, Greg and to my incredibly perfect wife Terria. This road i believe will be a short one as i did come to some clarifying rational about myself and my inappropriate relationship and will be building towards bigger and better ways of living and a better way to find and maintain the happiness that we strive so hard to find. Tanks to everybody for all of the support and love given my way and will one day look back on this as a part of Gregasaurus folklore to add to my collection of what the fuck what he thinking -isms. so i sit here and laugh,pray and cry in the hopes that tomorrow will be us all the sunshine that we deserve and the rains will water our lawns and make them green while we sleep. if anybody can figure that analogy i wanna hear it! good luck