Slow Growth

With my back to the ledge
I reach out in hopes of another chance
With my world in disarray
Looking into your eyes for that meaningful glance

The past is done and today is here for us
My choices to create this broken trust
broken me down to my deepest core
And i don't want to hurt anymore

Moving on and moving forward
I stumble and stagger my goals ever onward
realizing that forgiveness is already given
yet my forgiveness voided by the stake I've driven

Seek out refuge through my counsel
all the gains will not ever cancel
This foreign land that i have ventured
and the people i have tortured

I've killed myself too many times
died and brought back to clearly define
what It is that hurt my soul
The complexities that made me whole

My life and decisions
strategic and hurtful incisions
with life in the rear view mirror
Will my life's window ever get any clearer

So i hold what is precious ever so tight
fearing i will lose her in the night
we talk for hours about the past
and the dark shadow that i have cast

I overcame my Pride and hardened head
bringing my life back from the dead
the clarity that I fight for
thanking you for the opened door

I'm the fat kid in the buffet line
have too much but go back one more time
Will life ever be clearly defined
my prayers answered and given the sign