Therapy Session # 2 -Answers

Ready for my second therapy session with my wife tomorrow night. The first session was a real pleasure and a getting to know each other time where normal questions were asked and background was obtained for future reference and diagnosis. He made Thursday night 6 pm our time for now and we will attend every Thursday until further notice I suppose. I am really excited about our therapy and the opportunity to come free and clear from some issues that may be dangling over my head, Terria may also be able to free up some of her childhood issues in the scope of finding some answers to some of our questions. The Dr. did give us some homework to bring back and asked us each to write down a list of things that were Obstacles for us getting close, and what we each want from the other person. I have thought long and hard about this and have jotted down a few items that i feel are very real and serious in my eyes, either pertaining to me and to things that i would hope she could do for me and for us as a whole. I clearly feel that the therapy is going in a direction of childhood issues and reasons for some of my insecurities within myself and how i deal with things, never letting anybody getting too close and keeping my issues to myself and drawing that perpetual line in the sand thus keeping people at a safe distance from me. i would much rather do things for myself and do things quickly to remove the possibilities of anybody getting closer and getting me to open myself up and giving in to the allowing part of me to be compromised into somebody Else's hands, not ever a comfortable place for me to be. So i have written down some items that i feel will be helpful in determining some things about what it is i expect from a spouse and some things that I feel are my responsibility, all or some of which will show me as the initiator in getting things done and taking on the responsibility and the blame for things going wrong. I have always felt that if Is easier to take the blame and fix it than to find out who did it and wait for things to be done, this has worked well for me in the workplace and will always be a part of who i am, regardless of whether it is a scapegoat avenue for the weak. But in a relationship things must be shared and delegated and taken care of together, this mindset may not work well and i am trying to figure out ways of compromise in my mindset of how i've dome things in the past may not work well for Terria and I, I am in fact open to better ways to do things and will keep an open mind in doing so, the agreement to go to therapy is a tell tale sign that I am very serious about getting my mind, life and marriage straight, and i don't do things half ass when it comes to people, my loves and my life are very much in the forefront these days and i only hope to figure out some sort of game plan in getting the missing piece and lost answers on the table so that i may work on whatever it is that needs tweaking.