Progressions

Today was an incredibly relaxing and productive day. Being fathers day it was destined to be a yawner ,and it kinda was, 3 plus hours of TV golf and an early dinner was damn cool. Days like today make me believe that there really is a reason for everything that happens in life. I look back to a few weeks ago and all seemed to be going so well in some arenas and so badly in others, funny that the predicaments I was dealing with were all created by me and that it seemed that I was ready to accept the cards dealt to me after dealing the initial hand.But as my mantra always covers, never say never and always expect the unexpected to happen in life, especially when dealing with humans and the emotions that follow. This got comically interesting and put me back in a place where I could either get angry, or get moving, I got moving and did an instant 180 degree turn of emotions. I was thrust into a position where I have been many times before in my life, always giving my best and expecting somebody to accept its goodness and embrace it all ,to never let it get away. So here I was taken back by my ego and vanity, not the loss or disillusionment, thinking how bad it was for the other person to have to jump that emotional roller coaster and ride the waves of uncertainty, all in the best judgement of course, yet I was left for a moment to sit back and chuckle at the turn of events. The move was such a good and proper thing to do but my first thought was my ego, my vanity and my pride, laugh as I write this as am a proud man who sometimes misses the most simple of plots and messages left written across my forehead go unread and unfounded. But he messages were loud and clear , and after a couple hours of clarity of spirit ,mind and release pent up guilt in a situation that should have never occurred, which I knew from day one, til the final end! It was a good time and a great experience for me, being guilty of my own selfishness I can say that the past 3 months were a joyous occasion with nary a hiccup and many good times shared, well minus the heartache and heartbreak left scattered behind over a 700 mile stretch. Its all good times and happy ending for all involved and it seems like lifes cruel hands of laughter came raining down upon the funny man with some very poignant life lessons and real life drama that played out in my head and in my life, not on a TV screen, so cool to rebound from the pains and drama and all have returned back to their respective corners in the hopes to fight the fight and give love and life a chance. I'm replaying the days in my head where was the enemy and I was the worst person in my world, the heavy load of guilt and bad choices had made me prove that I was in fact a ma of principle, that pride and ego mean shit when there are no scruples or morality behind it all. I have learned more in the past 3 months about life, love, family and desires that can walk away from it all and be a better person, fighting through my own trust issues of myself I will win this fight, as I have won every fight in my life to date, there is something special about being Greg Duran these days, and forever, there are some serious chinks in my armour that I am mending as we speak, there is so much goodness ahead for me and the life I chose to live will be the life that I boasted about prior to removing myself from its realities of goodness and truth. I was reading some of my writings from earlier in marriage and even earlier during the dating process with my wife Terria, everything read and everything that was written was based on truths and communications of said truths, I planned for a future with solid foundations and open and honest communications of love, expectations, limitations and dedication to self and one another. This Greg Duran still exists and knowing that puts more pressure on my by dedicating and adhering to the things that have always been important to me, Honesty and the ability to freely communicate my feelings and emotions to anybody that matters to me in my life. My detour was not a mistake, it was a necessary evil to insure that my life was taking the proper avenues and not forever detour into something or someplace that is foreign to me. The ship has been saved and the work has been started to put it all back into its proper perspective. My accomplishments speak for themselves and i will not boast of any successes other than I am set and I am straight and those that matter are taken care of properly with no fanfare or grandstanding motions, I as a Christian with solid beliefs and will act upon those beliefs to make my world, my family and my home , the happiest most tranquil place its ever been!